LOS ANGELES — Local advocacy group the National Youth Anti-Drug Media Campaign issued a chilling new public service announcement claiming overuse of marijuana could cause users to end up like condescending TV personality Bill Maher, faded sources report.
“The young people of America today should be made aware of the true, shocking dangers of marijuana,” National Youth Anti-Drug Media Campaign representative Colleen Birch stated. “Sure, at first pot may seem like fun. It can open your mind up to progressive ways of thinking and perhaps lead you to someday hosting your own talk show. But next thing you know, you’re finding yourself constantly complaining about the existence of Millennials and Gen Z and compromising your once liberal convictions by agreeing with conservative crackpots who think you ‘can’t say anything anymore.’ We’re here to say, ‘Don’t become Bill Maher the old coot, just give cannabis the boot.’ Our future depends on it.”
The scare tactics used in the eye-opening PSA have had a profound impact on many young pot smokers around the country.
“I’ve been smoking for about 10 years now. No wait, maybe it’s only been like seven. No, maybe it’s actually been more than 10 years. Whatever, I’ve always been able to just stop whenever I want, and now after doing some research, I think the whole ‘becoming Bill Maher’ is truly sobering,” local burnout Jeremy Stoltworth said. “I mean, it’s bad enough that we both think the ‘Me Too’ movement went too far, on top of the fact that I also complain about religion to any stranger I can. It’s scary to think I could one day smoke myself into irrelevance just like he did. I mean, I don’t want to become a multi-millionaire, self-important TV personality. Anything but that!”
Maher chose not to mince words when he eventually addressed the damning PSA.
“This whole thing is just another example of the pussification that has plagued anyone who isn’t going to die of old age in 10 years,” Maher stated. “Why the fuck wouldn’t anyone want to be like me? Someday these anti-pot people will realize how intelligent I am and the snowflakes and woke left who I was once exactly like will come to terms with it as well. Here’s a ‘New Rule’ for you—standing up against the tyranny of college students is now fucking awesome.”
In related news, an anti-alcohol PSA was also released suggesting that overuse could lead you to be like Mel Gibson.