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Tag: useless

4 stories found

aristocrats, dog, talking buttons

Man Sitting Alone in Car Wasting Taxpayer Money Arrested for Impersonating Police Officer

The Hard Times Staff • June 4, 2022

ANNAPOLIS, Md. — Local library systems technician Gary Harris was arrested early Tuesday and charged with impersonating a police officer…

cop, social worker, nothing

“I’d Like to See a Social Worker Do What I Do,” Says Cop Who Does Nothing

Tim Sheard • May 29, 2022

DURHAM, N.C. — Local police officer Chad Bixby vocally opposed the redistribution of police funds toward social services at a…

bassist, punk, stupid, dull, strings, two, extra, frets, denim jacket, tattoo, dumb, practice, rehearse, sad

Punk Bassist Works Up Courage to Ask What Other Two Strings Are For

A. Cabbot • March 27, 2021

WASHINGTON — Jerkhole bassist Alex Miller finally overcame his anxiety yesterday to ask why his bass guitar includes two extra…

programmer, nerds, apps, develop

World’s Programmers Vow Not to Rest Until Every App Allows You to Swipe Left into Useless Feature

Doug Francisco • November 26, 2018

SAN MATEO, Calif. — Mobile technology programmers laid out plans yesterday to incorporate a feature into every app that would…