Noted dildo opponent and serial killer cosplay enthusiast, Ted Cruz, is a serious man known for his steely resolve and uncompromising politics. He’s built his…
LOS ANGELES — Actor and filmmaker Adam Sandler was forced to dispose of the screenplay for his new film “Hank Lieberman: Ghost Detective” after news…
GEORGETOWN, Del. — Local man Ben Hartsock resumed his normal business of yelling at skateboarders for trespassing in a parking lot less than 24 hours…
WASHINGTON — DC-based tour guide Christopher Hollis is currently attempting to quell an insurrection at the Capitol Building in order to provide interesting details about…
This has to be some type of miscommunication. ICE just showed up at our front door. We allowed them in, of course, as we assumed…
WASHINGTON — Following a string of other legal concessions in the waning days of his term, President Donald Trump announced this morning that he would…
SANTA CRUZ, Calif. — “Christmas Vacation” actor Randy Quaid voiced his support for President Trump yesterday, ruining every sane, cheer-deprived American’s viewing of the holiday…
Venerated slumlord and accomplished kleptocrat Jared Kushner is a busy man. When he’s not leading the federal government’s lack of response to a raging, totally…
HINSDALE, Ill. — Twitter user Shannon Nichols updated her profile bio today, moving “Trump Supporter” ahead of her other chosen descriptors of “Christian, Mother, Entrepreneur,…
LA PAMPA, Argentina — Donald Trump Jr.’s recent COVID-19 diagnosis has inspired his brother Eric to hunt him for sport, several sources close to the…
In the days following Donald Trump’s election loss, droves of conservatives have left Facebook in favor of so-called “alternative” social media sites with Parler quickly…
It seems like just yesterday those Trump-loving, dumbass crybaby MAGA bitches were clogging up my Facebook feed with racist propaganda, Ronn Swanson memes, and boastful…
Fuck Joe Biden. Plain and simple. Who does that commie bastard think he is trying to raise taxes on blue-collar workers like me? Sure, I…
WASHINGTON — After initially claiming he was going to hold out until more exclusive next-gen titles became available, President Donald Trump has reversed his claim…
2020 has got to be the worst year for punk by far. Ant that’s saying a lot since it died in 1978, 1986, and a…