Tim Graham
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BURBANK, Calif. — President Donald Trump called for “The Simpsons” character Apu to return to the long-running show, sources confirm.…
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Patrick Coyne
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LANGLEY, Va. — The CIA hired Korn frontman Jonathan Davis to teach operatives how to control bullets through scatting following…
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Sean Fallon
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WASHINGTON — The White House announced the debut of a non-woke version of Jesus Christ called John America, confirmed sources.…
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Brian Wishart
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WASHINGTON — Robert F. Kennedy Jr. revised the recommended amount of cigarettes children should smoke daily from zero to no…
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Patrick Coyne
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TULSA, Okla. — The guitar that once belonged to legendary folk musician Woody Guthrie was seized by federal agents and…
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Reece Napierski
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WASHINGTON — President Donald Trump announced plans for Stephen Miller to receive a Christmas bonus of $1488, confirmed sources. "They…
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Bill Conway
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WASHINGTON — President Trump is reportedly instructing the Justice Department to look into instances of voter fraud at Thrasher Magazine…
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Ben Friedman
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WASHINGTON — DHS Secretary Kristi Noem was left shocked and confused after her visit to the U.S. Holocaust Memorial Museum…
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Patrick Coyne
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WASHINGTON — President Donald Trump announced yesterday that he had deployed the National Guard to Roku City, the fictional cityscape…
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Tim Graham
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WASHINGTON — A White House press release suggests that citizens come up with “wasteland personas” soon before all the good…
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