Doug Kolic
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KALAMAZOO, Mich. — Local 55-year-old nerd finally decided to heed the lame warnings of his beloved family and respected medical…
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Trevor Graham
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You know, I’m not as young as I used to be and even a lot older than I thought I…
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Mimi Kenny
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BOSTON — Local Bostonian Shawn Williams is still as much of an asshole as any other 47-year-old white male in…
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Tim Graham
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KINGSTON, N.Y. — Local tattooist Eddie Greer’s proud tale of drunken excess bears a close resemblance to his friend’s worst…
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Mark Shady
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SAN FRANCISCO — Popular rideshare app Uber announced a new feature that would match intoxicated riders with intoxicated drivers, confirmed…
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Matt Bieker
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NEW BRUNSWICK, N.J. — Local muralist Tyler Vantucci recently declared himself “New Jersey sober,” a lifestyle he describes as “totally…
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Ian Steffé
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Dear Sir, I hope this letter finds you, though previous correspondence has remained undelivered due to complaints from the Post…
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SIMSBURY, Conn. — Local straight edge high schoolers recently stated that their commitment to living a drug- and alcohol-free lifestyle…
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Audrey Vieira
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Move over, California sober — There’s a new form of pseudo-sobriety in town and I’m leading the charge. It’s called…
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Arielle Andreano
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LOS ANGELES, Calif. — Local woman Hallie Phillips is reportedly thriving during an attempt to reduce alcohol consumption despite posting…
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