SAN DIEGO — Impoverished punk Greg “Spike” Templeton couldn’t be happier that his favorite band was not touring anywhere near him this summer, relieved sources…
WACO, Texas — Local punk Brianna “Gutpack” Mullhall was visibly upset upon learning Chip and Joanna Gaines will soon renovate beloved DIY venue Sugar House,…
NEW YORK — Local man Brian Crowley issued a press release begging anyone he encounters to please stop recommending television shows for him to watch…
I’m a real one, bro. Been around since back in the fucking day. So when my little brother wanted to see Sum 41, I was…
PENSACOLA, Fla. — A group of show promoters commissioned Nicole Kidman to appear in a video similar to her infamous AMC ad to spread a…
There comes a time in every person’s life when they need to give a harsh truth to an elder loved one. Unfortunately, it’s often the…
LOS GATOS, Calif. – Netflix is reportedly set to announce new cost-cutting measures to replace executives in charge of developing content with old TV Guides…
My girlfriend Liz recently attended her first metal show, and here are 10 things she said. It’s Nice Not to Have to Wait in Line…
PETALUMA, Calif. — Indie/jangle pop band Diet Water vowed that they will never play a show in Israel out of support of Palestine, though peers…
CHICAGO — The setlist for headlining band Numb Numbers is hoping that it goes home with some super-hot member of the audience, preferably that blonde…
HUNTINGTON BEACH, Calif. — Veteran crowd surfer Eddie Wang openly mocked crowd boogie boarder Erik Denton after riding the audience at a Huntington Beach punk…
ST. LOUIS — Local bass player Terry Gilchrist stood in quiet awe as his bass cab “Bertha” took down an astounding amount of drinks while…
It’s no secret that good dads are hard to find, especially when it comes to raising a daughter. Any dad who fosters individuality and confidence…
PHILADELPHIA — Local punk Andrew Fetzer attempted to deceive friends by crudely marking his hands with a sharpie to hide that he’s been relaxing at…
SHEBOYGAN, Wisc. — Local punk band Disquantify announced today they will embark on an extensive world tour, with the first 36 stops right here in…