SCOTTSDALE, Ariz. — A team of scientists was left bewildered after a series of tests definitively proved that smashed guitars feel pain and anguish when…
I think it’s fair to say that We Are Scientists is a great band but every time I listen to them there’s this feeling that…
CINCINNATI — Dinosaur experts gathering for the annual Society of Vertebrate Paleontology conference made the surprising announcement that they still can’t explain how the prehistoric…
GLENOLDEN, Pa. — Engineers and chemists alike curbed their amazement Wednesday when La Salle University research scientist Steve di Bastino of Delaware County announced the…
OAKLAND, Calif. — Perpetual “lost cause” Kip “The Drip” Dellaher miraculously passed his science and history exams today after simply attending last night’s They Might…
CAMBRIDGE, Mass. – Scientists at the Kalvi Institute for Astrophysics and Space Research recently made an unexpected discovery: a Mazzy Star song that wasn’t the…
WASHINGTON — A new study by climate scientists within the hardcore scene revealed the motherfuckers in the back will almost certainly be underwater by the…
As a feminist, I believe that it is very important that women in STEM have opportunities to succeed in their fields. Whether their bands are…
LOS ANGELES — Three legendary punk frontmen, Dexter Holland, Milo Aukerman, and Greg Graffin, all departed their respective bands to join forces and prepare for…
ROCHESTER, N.Y. — A study at the University of Rochester concluded that a staggering 83% of all traffic accidents are directly related to drivers attempting…
BROOK, Ind. – Research conducted at one of the nation’s largest landfill facilities showed that discarded Blues Traveler “Four” CDs make up over 70% of…
It’s 3:00 am, and you just woke up from another Seinfeld dream. This time it was an erotic session of impact play with George Costanza.…
DETROIT — Juggalo scientists reportedly made a “major breakthrough” in their tireless efforts to finally answer the question that has plagued the Juggalo community for…
ST. LOUIS, Mo. — Local crust punk Lou “Canker Sore” Schultz revised his bucket list to include getting a disease named after him in an…
INDIANAPOLIS – A small but visibly-confused group of free thinkers stormed the HI-FI Annex stage to incoherently question the connection between weight gain and drinking…