It’s 2024. Inflation has hit all aspects of the economy, corporate layoffs continue in mass, and Red Lobster’s bottomless shrimp option has effectively help them…
“Damn the man! Save the Empire!” These were the rallying cries of every spirited “teen” working at the fictional store in the film “Empire Records.”…
MINNEAPOLIS, Minn. — Retail conglomerate Target announced today that they would be participating in Record Store Day by offering 35 separate versions of Taylor Swift’s…
POMONA, Calif. – Liz Gore, lead vocalist of local death metal band Afterbirth, reportedly slipped into a strained and high-pitched customer service voice onstage last…
CHICAGO — Local Guitar Center employee Bridget Wolf carefully cut a fresh guitar strap from a rotating spit before serving it to an eager customer…
Some say that I run a little hot-blooded, that I’m too quick to break a beer bottle over someone’s head before thinking things through. Those…
SAINT LOUIS — Local Guitar Center sales associate Frank Helms stunned colleagues after discovering you in the Fender section of the store and announcing that…
OMAHA, Neb. — A longtime Walmart employee revealed that he is giving himself at least three or four more shifts until he finally snaps and…
NEPTUNE, N.J. — Local supermarket cashier and goth Trish Sommers filed a multi-million dollar lawsuit against her employer after her PTO request for Halloween was…
DES MOINES, Iowa — Liz Connelly, a second-year Applebee’s employee, refused to show three members of nü-metal octet Slipknot to their table until the other…
BOSTON — Local 39-year-old Tool fan Mark Gibson spent his entire shift last Wednesday angry at the fact that a genius of his magnitude was…
PALMDALE, CA — Customers and baristas of The Catalyst Coffee Shop were shaken to their core Sunday afternoon when sick fuck Andrew Murphy ordered an…
WILMINGTON, Del. — Newly vaccinated woman Denise Adame took advantage of her inoculated status late yesterday afternoon to step outside and take in the fresh,…
MANHATTAN BEACH, Calif. — Members of legendary punk band Descendents returned to the site of their original practice space, 9th and Walnut, to find the…
CHICAGO — Local barista Jeffrey Stern had a creative breakthrough after thinking of the perfect name for a band that will never exist outside of…