Kate Howard
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FORT WALTON BEACH, Fla. — Quarantined woman Andrea Wolfe admitted today that she prefers Zoom sex sans video with her…
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Stephen Bell
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MINNEAPOLIS — Popular retailer Target sternly pledged to its employees today that any Coronavirus they are exposed to at their…
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Sari Beliak
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MONTCLAIR, N.J. — Local woman Frankie Landis exceeded all her previous birthday expectations by somehow still managing to start a…
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Lauren Lavín
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CHICAGO — A small group of household objects joined together last night to escape an impending and prolonged fucking by…
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John Merrifield
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NEW YORK — Local two-timer Thomas McGibbons is looking forward to the end of quarantine after being stuck with his…
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LOS ANGELES — Local punk and tall guy Michael Snyder replaced standing in front of his short girlfriend Anna Nelson…
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Patrick Crooks
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SAN DIEGO — Thanks to the slowdown in day-to-day police activity, local officer Scott Martinson is now committing abuses of…
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SANTA MONICA, Calif. — Streaming giant Hulu announced Tuesday that, due to nationwide stay-at-home orders, fans of the mid-2000s sitcom…
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Patrick Crooks
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NEW YORK — Quarantined man Michael Gray repeated his rigid daily routine moments ago when he turned off his alarm,…
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Zach Russell
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ANNAPOLIS, Md. — Lifelong nerd Nate Guajardo emerged from a local Planet Fitness facility today “beefed out as fuck” after…
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