Another week, another abbreviated introductory paragraph. You know what you’re here for, get on down and listen to our staff picks. Full of Hell “Transmuting…
So your favorite company did something ethically wrong and you want to start a boycott. Congratulations! A lot of people are under the impression that…
SUN PRAIRIE, Wis. — Overconfident white guy Randall Weiss, who frequently proclaims his “life is a movie,” is reportedly ignorant to the fact that said…
Hola. Mucho gusto. That means “Hi, pleased to meet you.” Did I learn that from your little fucking owl? ¡No! (That means “No!”). I learned…
Hey there! I see that you’re about to release a new track, so I thought I’d offer some words of wisdom. Your last song did…
SAN DIEGO, Calif. — Self-proclaimed alpha male, Jared Andrews, suffered a nervous breakdown last week when attempting to eat a banana without looking “gay,” authorities…
REYKJAVIK, Iceland — City officials announced that the annual spraying for feral Björks will begin this week and that residents should take necessary precautions to…
PITTSBURGH – Local concertgoer Roger Macmillan ruined his brand-new $60 tour t-shirt with a perplexingly expensive Bud Light at record speed, witnesses report. “Perfect, just…
ARLINGTON, Va. – Executives at Boeing responded to the mysterious death of a second whistleblower by claiming the company has a longstanding policy of only…
Great directors are known for pushing boundaries in the film-making process. These often obsessive visionaries will go to unprecedented lengths to get the shots they…
When driving across America, you begin to notice how many big-box brands there are scattered across this nation. But what’s under-discussed are how fuckable their…
LOS ANGELES — Local police officer Mark Woodside warmed up for a long day of work beating college kids peacefully protesting genocide by knocking around…
LOUISVILLE, Ky. — Local weirdo Arnold Hauser posted on the popular community app, Nextdoor, that everyone in his neighborhood is safe around him because he…
GREENE, N.Y. — Amateur conservative pundit Gordon Brock found himself in a predicament when none of his friends or family would let him borrow their…
You might not know this, but before they were part of Wings and the Plastic Ono Band, Paul McCartney and John Lennon had a group…