WASHINGTON — President Trump threatened the residents of the nation’s capital by saying that if they don’t fall in line and obey the orders of…
ENUMCLAW, Wash. — Local Christian rock band Trust Fall revealed that they are waiting until marriage to write any songs related to sexual intercourse, confirmed…
LITTLE ROCK, Ark. — Local man Jerry Whipple, a self-described red-blooded, god-fearing follower of Christ, was outraged when he noticed all of the parts of…
WASHINGTON — President Trump took control of the police in Washington, D.C. and deployed the National Guard to crack down on rampant crime and destruction…
NEW YORK — Executives at top corporate media properties Fox News and CNN promised that all of their journalists will remain safe from targeted assassinations…
There’s a new kid in town. 3I/ATLAS – an interstellar object that many ‘scientists’ are calling a ‘comet’ – has just recently entered our galactic…
LINKÖPING, Sweden — An American punk backpacking through Europe reportedly refused to learn simple key phrases for the countries he is visiting, opting instead to…
GAZA CITY — Yosef Peretz, an IDF soldier stationed in watch towers at a Gaza Humanitarian Foundation aid station, is fearing for his life after…
PITTSBURGH — American Eagle announced a series of ads highlighting how good black people are at playing basketball in an attempt at a major course…
Another week has come and gone and we are no better for it. In fact, some would argue we are far worse. Luckily we are…
HELL — Legendary professional wrestler, adulterer, and noted racist Hulk Hogan admitted he was confused as to why heaven seemed so much hotter than he…
TALLAHASSEE, Fla. — Deputy Attorney General Todd Blanche is set to meet with Jeffrey Epstein accomplice Ghislaine Maxwell a few hours before she is found…
GAZA CITY — Malnourished children living in increasingly dire conditions in Gaza expressed disappointment Monday that President Donald Trump has yet to exploit their suffering…
LOS ANGELES — Sharon Osbourne believes that her recently deceased husband Ozzy Osbourne still has enough juice in the tank to keep touring and performing…
BOSTON — Viral footage from GWAR’s popular Analingus Cam supposedly shows a tech CEO engaged in a lewd sexual act with his mistress, multiple people…