Ian Yamamoto
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ASTORIA, Ore. — Beginner survivalist Ethan Foster quickly forgot which of the two bodily wastes was sterile, piss or shit,…
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Ben Friedman
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AUBERRY, Calif. — A local woodpecker, ignoring the desperate pleas of parents, continued to go completely apeshit on a tree…
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Dan Kozuh
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JASPER, Ark. — Local militia member Lance Hagan accidentally ate the three years' worth of emergency rations while anxiously watching…
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Jonathan Zeller
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ORANGE COUNTY, Calif. — An increasing number of American punks are preparing for the “frightening and inevitable” doomsday scenario of…
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