LAFAYETTE, Ind. — Local dad Sean Nolan is once again using a weird, unexpected, and previously nonexistent slang term for his penis in casual conversation,…
BOSTON — Mark Wahlberg sparked controversy after claiming that Elon Musk’s botched penis implant “wouldn’t have gone down like that” if he was the attending…
WASHINGTON — Local sex worker Jasmine Lawler is facing years behind bars after being labeled a domestic terrorist because she burst out in hysterical laughter…
NEW HAVEN, Conn. — Local punk Pattie “Two Dollar” O’Malley set up a foundation dedicated to researching and curing “coke dick,” a condition that renders…
BOSTON — Local 46-year-old musician Tim Reddy of the seminal one-person noise/grind collective 5CrpseFckPrty complained that you could no longer whip out your schlong on…
LOS ANGELES – Steven Spielberg recently expressed regret for censoring the 20th anniversary release of “E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial” by editing out the guns and the…
LOS ANGELES — Several members of the crowd at a local hard rock show suspected guitar shredding has-been Dwayne “Tiger” Richmond’s over-the-top noodling of his…
It can be really scary to put yourself out there. With this gamified dating culture we have to exist in, rejection is more immediate and…
Okay hear us out. Lately there’s been a lot of hoopla over-representation in Disney films. People have finally figured out that the true path to…
The ethics of censorship, accountability and corporate responsibility are evolving all the time. As private companies gain more and more influence over our day to…
SAN FERNANDO, Calif. — A new report from the Federal Reserve Bank of Los Angeles showed that unprecedented inflation is forcing adult entertainers to have…
QUEBEC — Local scofflaw Donald Ross was seen spanking it outside of Fantasy World, which clearly has a designated area for that sort of thing…
LOS ANGELES — Film director and Limp Bizkit frontman Fred Durst put an end to years of debate by issuing a statement clarifying that the…
PIGEON FORGE, Tenn. — Local mother Julia Smith assumes that her completely asexual daughter Andrea is actually a lesbian who has yet to find the…
PALO ALTO, Calif. — Scientists for Tesla’s robotics team have reported that recent requests from senior management indicate that they are more than likely being…