Opinion: Hockey Is Moshing
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So, the other day my friends invited me to watch the Penguins play the Canadiens down at the arena. I’m…
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Tag: opinion
614 stories found
Opinion: Seems like Nobody Cares About Real Human Connection Anymore, and by Real Human Connection I Mean Having Sex with Me
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It’s time to address the fact that today’s society is suffering from one of the greatest epidemics of this millenium:…
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Opinion: If My Coworkers Didn’t Want a Bag of Loose Pills as a White Elephant Gift, They Should Have Put X’s on Their Hands
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Deb From HR’s Office, Pennsylvania — The White Elephant Gift exchange is a cornerstone of the office ecosystem. It allows…
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Opinion: It’s Time To Put the “Christ” Back in “Not Giving Money to Homeless People”
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This holiday used to mean something in this country. It meant the joy on your children’s faces when they woke…
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Opinion: You Can Be a Progressive and Still Hunt the Homeless for Sport – Guest Column by Gavin Newsom
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My name is Chief Bob’s Big Boy in Charge of Things — Gavin Newsom. I’m writing this op-ed currently and…
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Opinion: As Someone With the Maturity of a Child, I Should Be Able to Qualify for Make-A-Wish
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I’ve been called a lot of things: selfish, immature, annoying, and, according to my 10th-grade English teacher, an unserious student…
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Opinion: Fuck You, You Absolute Fucker — Guest Opinion by Your Dad Trying to Hang Icicle Christmas Lights
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Alright, you fucking shitheads. You pieces of fucking garbage shit-fuck. You absolutely diabolical, fermented excuse for human shit-fuck excrement. Christ…
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Opinion: Guzzling up the World’s Dwindling Fresh Water So I Could Prompt AI Engines To Generate a Video of Oscar the Grouch Farting Into His Own Dick Is a Dream My Ancestors Didn’t Even Know They Wanted for Me
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While everyone is sounding the alarms about AI’s unregulated overreach by evil technocrats and the annoying rabble of eco-conscious peaceniks…
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Opinion: You Might as Well Get Used to AI, Because if You Don’t, I’m Ruined
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These days, the parts of the internet that are still predominantly human are abuzz with anti-AI sentiment. You’ve all heard…
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Opinion: This Destination Wedding Is the Perfect Way To Make People Forget We’ve Been Cheating on Each Other
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I don’t care what anybody says over at the Hallmark Greeting Card Company, love is difficult. The prospect of spending…
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