I think I finally found my career: touring musician! It’s been a long, strange path, but I have put in years of work, and it’s…
In the book of Genesis, it is said that the Babylonians endeavored to build a tower that could reach heaven. God, feeling threatened, made them…
As America found out on November 5th, it took more than being “brat” to win the election. Charli XCX, the Mother of all Mothers, endorsed…
It was August of 1988, and I was attending my nephew Brett’s 4th birthday party in Leoni, Michigan. I was just planning on spending a…
As someone riddled with multiple hang ups, insecurities, and repressed emotions you’d be correct in thinking that I absolutely need to go to therapy. But…
When I grew up, Halloween was the most magical night of the year. You put on costumes, decorate houses in spider webs, and the best…
How to describe David Lynch? Is he a genius filmmaker? An iconoclastic multimedia artist? The dude who fumbled Isabella Rossellini? Well, I have another question:…
With this country basically divided into only two camps, I feel like I’m on crazy pills for having a more nuanced outlook on the issues.…
Look, I’ll say it plain and simple: it doesn’t matter why I already went through your supposed “lifetime supply” of Hormel Chili that I won,…
You know what really pisses me off? When some lifeless, faceless corporation uses the whole “we’re like a family” thing to sell their sense of…
If you want to know why there’s little to no originality in the entertainment we consume, look no further than your local movie theater and…
Everything was chill. I sat with my Grandma, knocking back a five-year-old tin of Christmas popcorn and flipping through family albums. As I admired a…
Words like “hope” and “optimism” have been going around a lot the last few weeks, but if you ask me, we’re just settling. Sure, it’s…
I want you all to ignore any association you have and just focus on these names in and of themselves: Is Weezer a cool name?…
Dear friends, family, and colleagues, It would seem that my most recent post on Facebook has caused a lot of confusion, and dare I say…