ARLINGTON, Texas — Americans everywhere took a brief pause from threatening to kill each other online to share that they believe Ingrid Andress should have…
RICHMOND, Va. – The nation’s coworkers reportedly resolved to hold an extended conversation in the general area outside the employee bathroom at the exact time…
NEW HAVEN, Conn. — The American Association of Grandmothers laid out plans for a thorough investigation into precisely when their grandchildren became “so gosh-darn tall”…
HEMPSTEAD, N.Y. — A new study by Hofstra University has found that 100 percent of moms nationwide agree they’ve never said anything traumatizing to their…
WASHINGTON — Governors from all 50 states agreed that shelter-in-place orders would firmly remain on your shitty band as the rest of the country sees…
WASHINGTON — Scientists have confirmed that the current nationwide dumpster fire is adversely affecting the national crust punk population, according to a new study conducted…
WASHINGTON — Stoners from across the country held a joint press conference last night to announce “no real plans” for the future, according to the…