Spotting someone in public wearing a shirt of a metal band you also like can immediately trigger a camaraderie that is seldom seen in other…
BAKERSFIELD, Calif. — Local Korn fan Floyd Brennan recently admitted that the band hit its peak approximately 50 seconds into the song “Blind,” confirmed sources…
Study Shows 1 Out of Every 5 Local Metal Band T-Shirts Ends Up Inside an Auto Repair Shop’s Oily Rag Bin
ITHACA, N.Y. — A recent study by Cornell University found that a striking one out of five local metal band t-shirts ends up inside an…
Embarrassing: Drone Metal Fan Comes In 27 Minutes Early With Air Guitar
OLYMPIA, Wash. — Local drone metal fan Judson Riley reportedly came in 27 minutes early with his air guitar at a recent show, embarrassed sources…
NEW YORK — Metal frontman and former singer of Twisted Sister Dee Snider celebrated four decades of being seen as a metal icon for no…
Every Machine Head Album Ranked Worst to Best
Machine Head are an Oakland-based groove metal band formed in 1991 by guitarist and vocalist Robb Flynn at a Metallica show. The band’s lineup has…
Dave Mustaine Starts Second, Rival Retirement Organization After Being Kicked Out of AARP
LA MESA, Calif. — Prolific thrash metal frontman Dave Mustaine started a rival retirement organization after being removed from the American Association of Retired Persons…
Getting Bloodwork Done Significantly Less Metal Than Carcass Fan Was Hoping
HARTFORD, Conn. — Local metalhead and rabid Carcass fan Nick Patterson was shocked to learn that despite how it sounds, bloodwork is actually pretty boring,…
Black Metal Christmas Carolers Only Reach Three Houses Before Murdering Each Other
SEATTLE – Christmas carolers and members of local black metal band Kirkeråte only reached three houses before succumbing to the urge to kill one another,…
Breaking Benjamin Song Mistaken for Chevelle Song Actually Turns Out To Be Three Days Grace Song
ELSMERE, Del. — A Breaking Benjamin song heard on the radio by two friends initially thought to be a Chevelle song actually ended up being…
Friend Group of Dream Theater Fans Makes Pact To Lose Their Virginities Before They’re Eligible for Social Security Benefits
NORTH HUNTINGDON, Pa. — A friend group composed of progressive metal band Dream Theater fans made a pact to lose their virginities before their Social…
Guy at Black Metal Show Does Quick Google Search To Make Sure Band Aren’t Nazis Before Heading to Merch Table
ELGIN, Ill. – Local metalhead and black metal show attendee Derek Straub found himself conducting a quick Google search of band Vindfull Skog before walking…
Trapt Show a Real “Who’s Who” of the Flat Earther Community
BALTIMORE — Several prominent public figures within the ”flat-earther” community recently attended the same Trapt concert, confirmed multiple sources. “Everybody’s here tonight,” said avid Trapt…
Metalhead Family Thanksgiving Argument About Whether or Not “Djent” is an Actual Genre
BOULDER, Colo. — An explosive dispute over genre semantics broke out at the Thanksgiving dinner of the three-generation metalhead Reeder family regarding the disputed progressive…
CINCINNATI — Bolt Thrower fan Harold Rodriguez was disappointed in the reaction to his custom playlist by fellow members of his Warhammer 40K meetup, sources…