RIVERSIDE, Calif. — Local dive bar Bog Hill, an establishment notorious for over-serving customers, fights, and unsanitary conditions, shocked regulars and locals alike by rebranding…
GRAND FORKS, N.D. — Marjorie and Gerald Spitz attempted to lure their wayward crust punk son home using his two favorite things as bait —…
AUBURN, Maine — Local resident Charles Brennan’s screen door proved to be an effective way to measure the sobriety of guests at his house party…
REHOBOTH BEACH, Del. — A local woman’s conversation with friends was disrupted by a man who stormed across the bar to correct a statement she…
This is getting ridiculous. When I attended my first Alcoholics Anonymous meeting, I thought it would be a cool bunch of people swapping stories about…
FOREST PARK, Ill. — Local woman in her mid-30s Laura McMann was carded again late yesterday evening when attempting to buy alcohol after her hormonal…
TUCSON, Ariz. — 30-year-old Joann Kim suffered a three-day hangover after walking by the liquor aisle at her local grocery store, solemn sources confirmed. “I…
ALBUQUERQUE, N.M. — Brad Harris, a first time house show promoter, triple checked to make sure the only toilet at his debut DIY gig was…
Have you ever wanted to drink licorice-flavored varnish? Or perhaps floor cleaner garnished with dirt and earthworms? If so, you’re in luck, you little weirdo,…
CHICAGO — Local man Shaun Clemens is reportedly planning to spend St. Patrick’s Day in his usual leprechaun costume, drinking alone in his room this…
LOUISVILLE, Ky. — Conestoga Distillery, the makers of popular new Vulture Rye whiskey, have disrupted the market by selling their product in the least-efficient bottle…
LANSING, Mich. — Local 13-year-old Malcolm Woods’ attempt at drunken debauchery last night ended in disappointment after realizing the bottle of vodka he stole from…
Listen pussies, I’m not going to “tone down” my drinking just because you claim I have a problem. Sure, my bar-top dancing got us kicked…
All day long I hear people complaining about how bad alcohol is. How it destroys families and makes you shit your pants at your girlfriend’s…