CASPER, Wyo. — Municipal Waste fan Dylan Medina was shocked and disgusted after remembering that he drank responsibly at local bar Shooter’s last night, sources…
WASHINGTON — Popular YouTube children’s entertainer Ms. Rachel sparked backlash from pro-life right-wing commentators for her brave stance against ongoing infanticide in Gaza, confirmed sources.…
These days, it’s important for us to find ways to earn a living however we can. Rising costs due to inflation and tariffs can be…
MARSHALL, Minn. — Slovenly and unkempt metalhead Freddy Clark somehow sported the most beautiful head of hair you’d ever encountered, befuddled sources report. “I grew…
BRIDGEPORT, Conn. — Members of legendary New York Hardcore bands Malicious Destruction, Malfeasance, and Genghis debuted music from their new “supergroup” called Sealegs, confirmed multiple…
In trying times, nothing feels better than an uplifting story that renews our faith. In Raleigh, North Carolina tragedy became a triumph this week when…
CHICAGO — Local 42-year-old man Marshall Reese is descending into a nightmarish, unending spiral of increasingly comforting sleepytime teas, unable to prevent himself from sinking…
WASHINGTON — Democratic leaders praised their own strategy of placing “gate” at the end of Trump-led Republican crimes in the effort for something, possibly anything,…
America at its best is the land of opportunity. It’s a place where (on paper at least) anyone from all walks of life can find…
BOSTON — Frequent flyer Kaitlyn Massey was surprised to learn that venerable shock jock Howard Stern is still alive and broadcasting, sources within her family’s…
WASHINGTON — A new report revealed that among the many issues currently dividing Americans, none is more divisive than how the nation spells the word…
If you grew up in the 90s, you no doubt remember watching the music video for Soul Asylum’s 1993 hit “Runaway Train” wherein photos of…
DENVER — A urinal cake spotted in the bathroom of Low Clearance raised concerns that the beloved venue may be veering away from their squalid…
LOS ANGELES — The Los Angeles Superior Court ruled on Monday that all interactions with strangers’ dogs will require at least a minimal introduction to…
Are you ready to feel the effects of aging at a natural rate? Well, get a load of this. This is currently the second financial…