I want to preface this by letting you know it actively pains me to address the topic of the original Polly Pocket Airplane. It was…
Summer 2024 was supposed to be my summer. I’d worked hard all year, and by June, I finally had enough money to buy an all-new…
SANTA CRUZ, Calif. — Two rival drum circles were forced to reconcile their differences and form one civilized unemployment line, sources willing to get close…
DENVER — A multinational non-renewable energy corporation is attempting to pin all of Earth’s environmental problems on an individual from Colorado, according to sources who…
I think fad diets are as stupid as the next guy, but not all fad diets are created equal. I’ve recently taken to eating an…
As a strong proponent of animal rights, as well as someone who understands the climate impact of large-scale agriculture, I pride myself on being a…
BEDFORD, N.Y. — Matchbox Twenty lead singer and primary songwriter Rob Thomas announced that the United States of America, a divided nation caught in a…
CAMBRIDGE, Mass. — Researchers at Harvard University determined that 100% of Millennials suffer from PTSD linked to exposure to the website rotten.com, confirmed sources who…
From early Greek mythology to the writing of Carl Jung, the Labyrinth has long been used as a metaphor for the human subconscious. Every night…
TOLEDO, Ohio – Local Juggalette and proud mother of three dope-ass jugga-babies Candice “Candya$$” Armbruster single-handedly lifted her ‘89 Geo Metro off the ground to…
Two things keep us Kansas City folk up at night—The Chiefs team name and Travis Kelce’s raw sexual prowess. I can look past a lot…
In life, you really have to plan for your future. That’s why we have to consider what it will look like when we are still…
NEW YORK — Former President Donald Trump charmed conservative podcast host Grant Victoria with a story about the time he helped five innocent men get…
LONDON — The Rolling Stones announced the addition of an 18-month old baby in a bid to lower the average age of the band’s members,…
Dear Lit, Yeah, it’s pretty easy to write a hit rock song about self-sabotage that lights up an entire generation when you’re cool, isn’t it?…