Steve Packosky
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KANNAPOLIS, N.C. — An iPhone 13 owned by IT professional Justin Deeling achieved sentience after he accidentally left progressive metal…
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Sidney Conant
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DAVENPORT, Iowa — Local Submissive Seventh fan and total dweeb Derek Maldonado reportedly threw away any remaining ounce of self-respect…
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Ben Friedman
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It’s been said that men are happy with the simple things in life, if you’re going off of their predilection…
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Eric Degliomini
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URBANA, Ill. — The bi-annual Kinsella family reunion, organized by brothers and Cap’n Jazz bandmates Tim and Mike Kinsella, successfully…
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Sarah Cortina
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BUSHWICK, N.Y. — Bushwick child Avery Bridgerton reportedly acted quite cagey when questioned on the playground about how they could…
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Chris Bowen
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“Make America Great Again.” Yeah, okay. These clowns have been in our country's political scene for like over ten years…
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Tim Graham
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TAUARIAZINHO, Brazil — An encounter with an isolated tribe resulted in an unexpected discussion of the band Turnstile, according to…
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Dan Kozuh
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NASHVILLE, Tenn. — Health officials working the medical tent at the popular Living Flesh Music Festival have confirmed reports of…
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Doug Kolic
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A new buzzed-about phrase that the media has been discussing lately is the idea that men in society are experiencing…
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Ben Friedman
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NEWTON, Mass. — A local man’s once beloved band tour shirt was unceremoniously demoted to being worn exclusively as pajamas…
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