BERKELEY, Calif. — Local punk Charles “Chuck” McCoy is adamant that everyone knows his hatred for hippies stems from a left-wing ideology, rather than a…
BOSTON — Local 46-year-old musician Tim Reddy of the seminal one-person noise/grind collective 5CrpseFckPrty complained that you could no longer whip out your schlong on…
Oh, You Like Counting Crows? When Was the Last Time You Danced the Silence Down Through the Morning?
Oh, You Like Counting Crows? When Was the Last Time You Danced the Silence Down Through the Morning?
Hey, man, I overheard you say you like “The” Counting Crows—not their name, but whatever. I happen to be a fan of that band myself.…
JEROME, Ariz. — Jehovah’s Witness Leonard Standish and Tool fan Don Schmidt spent all night spreading the gospel of their faith and fandom, exhausted sources…
BOSTON — Freshman photography student Elias Carbone reportedly crossed four lanes of heavy traffic to ask you if you’ve ever modeled before and if you’d…
The benefits of meal prepping go beyond saving time and money. It also frees up your brain so you can spend less time thinking about…
FULLERTON, Calif. — New dad and aspiring musician Gerry Malnati was forced to decide whether to delete pictures from previous vacations and gatherings with family…
While you were all picking out flowers, crafting love poems, and filling the deep and gooey pockets of Hershey and Hallmark this week, we were…
SAN JOSE, Calif. — Local man Timothy Kroeger reportedly lost his shit again despite bragging about how little sleep he needs on a nightly basis,…
So you’re still living paycheck to paycheck despite having a degree and 15+ years of work experience—it’s probably time to look into a side hustle.…
LOS ANGELES — The White House Correspondents’ Association surprised potential guests by announcing Jeff Dunham’s most racist puppet, Bubba J, will host their annual dinner…
WASHINGTON — President Donald Trump attempted to justify his policy of mass deportations by claiming illegal immigrants are taking up the majority of all guest…
It’s 2025 and after over a decade of unchallenged mainstream hegemony, your hatred of Drake has been vindicated. Look, we all get it. After the…
LOS ANGELES — Local punk Corey Lambert awoke in the middle of the night in a cold sweat after realizing that the devastating Los Angeles…
Female pleasure can be confusing and scary. That’s why these highly sophisticated toys exist. They are actually designed for anyone who wants to be involved…