OMAHA, Neb. — District 2 constituent Steve Amundson, fed up with the protracted process of fixing the potholes on his street, wrote Representative Burt Johnson…
It used to be effortless making friends outside the venue when you were a smoker. Usually you’d just ask if anyone had a light and…
Being a stepparent is hard, and it’s even harder when your stepson is punk as fuck. Worry not, normie stepmoms and stepdads of the world…
DETROIT — A mixture of ridicule and disgust caused local man Derek Jones to announce his new mustache is not a serious endeavor and is…
What kind of a landlord evicts his tenants just for having a three-day, all-hours music fest at his house?! I’m getting out the lease because…
NORTHAMPTON, Mass. — Members of the reflective indie band Willimantic Trail uncharacteristically planned an elaborate routine in response to “Free Bird” song requests and are…
It’s safe to say that everyone at this tattoo convention can agree that the body is a blank canvas. Some go with designs that are…
CINCINNATI — Dinosaur experts gathering for the annual Society of Vertebrate Paleontology conference made the surprising announcement that they still can’t explain how the prehistoric…
DUBAI — Attendees of the COP28 Climate Summit set aside the solutions to impending climate catastrophe after being dazzled by the inclusion of an ostentatious…
PORTLAND, Ore. — Local crust punk Rusty Steinman reportedly multiplied at a rapid rate after coming into direct contact with water, confirmed weirded out sources.…
Ugh, what a day. I never want to see the inside of a courtroom again! Seriously, you drive drunk through one backyard, end up crashing…
BINGHAMTON, N.Y. — Metal show promoter Gary Pearson allegedly requires local bands to sell a minimum of 50 tickets and perform an embarrassing dance in…
NEW YORK — Spotify CEO Daniel Ek announced that the company would be laying off one-sixth of its workforce, though affected employees were offered an…
SEATTLE — Legendary underground band Vomit Asylum admitted they would love to break through to the mainstream with a song adored by the masses that…
OLYMPIA, Wash. — Local drone metal fan Judson Riley was recently seen in his neighborhood gas station murmuring, “What band is this?” as a Slurpee…