HOUSTON — Local 68-year-old Harry Wilson is reportedly about to fire off another sternly worded email to [email protected] to complain about the store’s lackluster service,…
The one nice perk about having a soul-crushing office job is casual Friday. Especially when it’s cool enough that I can wear my leather jacket…
CREST HILL, Ill. — Newly convicted felon Silas Deane Highway is reportedly looking forward to his 6-8 year prison sentence because he’s always dreamed of…
Lots of crazy stuff happened in 1986 via the wacky Washington worlds of arts, politics, entertainment, and horticulture: Rick Moranis’ “Little Shop of Horrors” hit…
Hurray! You’ve finally saved enough money working your shitty nine-to-five and numerous side hustles to afford a house. Your dad always said you were a…
HARTFORD, Conn. – Goodwill shopper Davis Canal suffered minor injuries during an unprovoked attack by a mannequin modeling the once-popular alpha male apparel line Ed…
I was looking through some mail I stole when I saw an invitation to the NYC Prince’s Ball, and realized it was tonight! I knew…
OAKLAND, Calif. — Damien Pocket, a longtime “fan” of early ‘90s proto-emo outfit Jawbreaker, recently began wondering when it’s going to once again become accepted…
Pedro the Lion is David Bazan, and vice versa. Bazan started the band in 1995 but in 2006 folded the project. But for the next…
Since the 1970s The Muppets have provided that rare breed of wholesome entertainment that truly caters to the whole family. Unfortunately, as is the case…
NEW ORLEANS — Ian McSeamus, the infamous frontman of the punk band Ghost Chode, announced that he is celebrating six months of sobriety which drew…
“Damn the man! Save the Empire!” These were the rallying cries of every spirited “teen” working at the fictional store in the film “Empire Records.”…
Finally, it’s time to cover some Presidents worth respecting! Armed with modified guitars and basses that ditched excessive strings, and led by Seattle smile-inducer Chris…
NEW YORK — An alarming scientific study has discovered that the absolute worst drivers in the US are almost exclusively from whichever state or states…
QUINCY, Mass. — Members of the Massachusetts Teachers Association are reportedly making plans to launch an all-out attack on Gaza in order to get some…