We’ve made it through yet another week with at least some semblance of sanity left. To ensure you burn off that extra little bit while…
BRAUNAU AM INN, Austria — Democratic Congressman David Eastlund of Nevada bent the rules of time and space as we know it to go back…
NEW YORK — Local ad agency Brunch Menu launched a new advertising campaign that simply read, “These aren’t your dad’s skinny jeans,” confusing every onlooker…
As I write this from a jail cell for accidental tax evasion, I know one thing is certain: the world of finances remains a great…
You may have woken up this morning noticing the light was a little different. That’s right, it’s that magical time of the year where we…
BROWNSVILLE, Texas — SpaceX announced they will no longer be allowing school teachers on their spaceships following the second explosion of a Starship mega rocket…
LOS ANGELES — Controversial rapper Kanye West interrupted the Best Picture winner on stage at the Academy Awards to say the 1935 Nazi propaganda movie…
PROVIDENCE, R.I — Local crust punk Phil “Sponge” Baker is planning on participating in today’s economic blackout by vowing to only use his parents’ credit…
OLYMPIA, Wash. — Local punk Kevin Wilder admitted he was feeling slightly fatigued after he completed a 5K race during a circle pit during a…
It’s been another week in the confusing hell-scape that is life. Just because the world seems to be crumbling at an alarming rate doesn’t mean…
TEL AVIV — IDF soldiers and fellow genocidal maniacs alike were excited to witness Israel’s version of Punxsutawney Phil seeing his shadow Monday morning, which…
SEATTLE — Local anarchist Tommy Greggors staunchly declined to answer a survey about his experience at OfficeMax, confirmed sources. “I simply refuse to let the…
The doctor said this was a first: no one had requested their own colonoscopy footage before. I said this was a request from the deepest…
The judiciary system of the United States of America was established on September 24th, 1789 to protect the rights of our nation’s citizens and it…
The Mandela Effect is the age-old behavioral phenomenon where large swaths of people misremember specific details about a person, event, or cereal brand. For instance,…