No, I will not listen to you! You can’t tell me what to do. You tell me to take out the trash, wash the dishes,…
MONTREAL – President, CEO, and co-founder of Gildan Athletic Wear, Glenn Chamandy, recently made the controversial decision to include a third extra scratchy tag to…
ASHEVILLE, N.C. — Local dog owner Zachary Townsend reportedly couldn’t help but notice how well behaved the unleashed dog he spotted wandering alongside a homeless…
MORGANTOWN, W.Va. — Local punk Buddy Freeman admitted that the pills he steals out of his grandmother’s medicine cabinet used to be for recreation, but…
BROOK, Ind. – Research conducted at one of the nation’s largest landfill facilities showed that discarded Blues Traveler “Four” CDs make up over 70% of…
LOS ANGELES — Netflix announced that the next season of its popular, nostalgia-ridden sci-fi epic “Stranger Things” will be delayed until the United States releases…
LANCASTER, Pa — Amish musician Zeke Johnson bypassed his religion’s strict restrictions on modern technology by playing drums in his metal band Barn Burners, confirmed…
ATHENS, Ga. – Researchers at the University of Georgia offered irrefutable proof that leaving an unread article open on an internet browser for fourteen days…
VANCOUVER, Wash. — Howard Ramirez, the longtime merch guy for the metal band Hellspawn, was folded and crammed into a box by members of the…
CAMBRIDGE, Mass. — A new study from researchers at Harvard University shows that only 20% of Americans currently have access to beats to study/relax to,…
PITTSBURGH – Local crust punk Connor Thompson openly rejects the use of normal paper coffee filters and instead uses a dingy, faded Discharge patch off…
PARIS — A team of international scientists at the University of Paris stunned the world when they produced the first hummus platter in human history…
PETALUMA, Calif. — Indie/jangle pop band Diet Water vowed that they will never play a show in Israel out of support of Palestine, though peers…
NEW YORK — Popular dictionary manufacturer Merriam-Webster made an unexpected change to the definition of “self-made” to include musicians with only one wealthy, connected parent,…
BLOOMINGTON, Ind. – Blitz Greg Bop, a rescue dog belonging to local punk Jimmy McCallister, significantly upgraded his dietary lifestyle since running away from home…