WASHINGTON — Frontman Abha Alvarez of punk band Kissinger’s Prostate disappeared suddenly and was replaced with unknown musician Holden Everett mid-tour after Alvarez performed a…
Like millions of Americans, you have probably been enthralled with the recent wave of fairly weird-looking celebrities being labeled as ‘Hot Rodent Men.’ Look, I…
QUINCY, Mass. — Members of the Massachusetts Teachers Association are reportedly making plans to launch an all-out attack on Gaza in order to get some…
GREENE, N.Y. — Amateur conservative pundit Gordon Brock found himself in a predicament when none of his friends or family would let him borrow their…
MINNEAPOLIS — Local man Brian Meddleson, a 20-year-old who has recently gotten into punk music, is openly debating on whether he will be a ‘don’t…
Whatever happened to liberty? What happened to freedom? What happened to the pursuit of happiness in this country, i.e. money off the backs of the…
TWIN FALLS, Idaho — A local drug dealer’s 1,000th customer was lucky enough to win a free explanation of how the government “really” works, confirmed…
WASHINGTON — Observers of Thursday’s State of The Union address were surprised by Joe Biden’s speech after he spent the entire time talking about how…
PALM BEACH, Fla. — Former president Donald Trump teased his top picks for vice president during a recent Mar-a-Lago fundraising event, according to gaudily-dressed sycophants…
Back in 2012, while the rest of the country was still content to decriminalize small quantities of marijuana or prescribe it individually under medical provision,…
ALBUQUERQUE, N.M. — Local dad Will Lowe somehow managed to accidentally “reply all” the national emergency alert test FEMA sent to all devices in America…
Becoming a member of congress takes charisma, determination, and perseverance, not to mention a bit of luck! But if you’re an aspiring congressman who wants…
FREDERICK, Md. – Local Punk Jake Mitchell avoided paying any federal or state taxes for the sixth straight year simply by failing to acquire even…
WASHINGTON — President Biden called for a nationwide moment of silence and contemplation after the stock price of the Norfolk Southern Corporation (NYSE: NSC) sharply…
WASHINGTON — Embattled Rep. Kevin McCarthy offered Republican colleagues two over-the-pants handjobs, redeemable at any time within his term, if they agree to vote for…