POCATELLO, Idaho — The boyfriend of long-suffering woman Talia Lefferts reportedly took it upon himself to point out that a funny scene of “This is…
HOUSTON — Local woman Charlotte Kissinger is reportedly only dating boyfriend Matt Bower for the truest contents of his character, sources speculated. “I can’t help…
MUNCIE, Ind. — Local 29-year-old Reema Cordero was alarmed to find that her recently official new boyfriend has a sex mix that is reportedly only…
WEST HOLLYWOOD, Calif. — Polyamorous woman Leanne Farina is experiencing the struggle of finding a different group chat in which to bitch about each of…
MARIETTA, Ga. — Local girlfriend Kaitlynn Gagnon is unable to sleep after spotting a Line 6 Spider in the corner right before shutting her eyes,…
FRESNO, Calif. — You expressed confusion over the band Manowar’s inability to get your girlfriend in the mood for sexual intercourse, sources report. “I don’t…
PROVIDENCE, R.I. — Local man Nate Weiss is reportedly struggling to make his relationship work after girlfriend Julia Shepard moved into a new building with…
COTTAGE GROVE, Ore. — Local grindcore drummer Jermaine Anderson assured his girlfriend Tatiana Wayford that being in his band has yet to result in attention…
PORTLAND, Ore. — The recent breakup between aspiring singer-songwriter Davy Briggs and girlfriend of two months Evelyn Hanna was deemed insufficiently traumatic to inspire a…
LOS ANGELES — Local man Paul Jones admitted he is thrilled to celebrate the most important woman in his life this International Women’s Day: his…
NASHVILLE, Tenn. — Dashboard Confessional frontman Chris Carrabba reported he is still finding his ex-girlfriend’s hair all over his apartment despite having moved across the…
LOUISVILLE, Ky. — Local metal musician Draven Whitlock revealed this week that he completed a touching song combining his two greatest desires; an eternal relationship…
Newburgh, N.Y. — Kirsten Emery, guitarist in local punk band Feral Insurgence and vocal critic of Valentine’s Day, curiously embraced the “sham” holiday now that…
Opinion: Uh, I Definitely Have a Girlfriend She Just Lives in Canada and is Emily Haines from Metric
Opinion: Uh, I Definitely Have a Girlfriend She Just Lives in Canada and is Emily Haines from Metric
I’ll be the first to admit that I’m a solid 6 on a good day but looks aren’t everything! I can still pull, as evidenced…
MINNEAPOLIS — Local man Dan Stanford was accused of derailing date night at an upscale restaurant after he spent most of the evening gazing longingly…