SAN JOSE, Calif. — Local man Seth Beaudreault achieved the longest health kick of any American trying to eat better, breaking the world record with…
Through my recovery at New Horizons Chicken Parmesan Treatment Facility, I was able to get an entirely new lease on life. The community there gave…
In a world full of gourmet options and high culinary standards, I, Tony DeMarco of Tony’s Pizzeria in the middle of nowhere Indiana, take great…
LOS ANGELES. — Local man Derek Mitchum regretted attending a show at The Smell music venue on a work night until a local food truck…
Time to update the ol’ resume! An otherwise enjoyable work lunch has been brought to a halt after a waiter making minimum wage plus tips…
SAN DIEGO, Calif. — Self-proclaimed alpha male, Jared Andrews, suffered a nervous breakdown last week when attempting to eat a banana without looking “gay,” authorities…
Whether you’ve just had your first beef tartare or you’ve visited every Michelin Star restaurant in the country, the path of every foodie inevitably leads…
Are you a fan of the home invasion horror subgenre? Because I think I’m living in a straight-to-streaming B-movie nightmare as I type out what…
PHOENIX — The children of the Aaronson family forgave their father Billy for leaving them with empty, growling stomachs in order to purchase overpriced Tool…
CRANFORD, N.J. — Local actuary Ken Dorfinger showed amazing self-restraint by leaving a significantly large piece of chicken as the last bite of his meal,…
If you’re reading this, it’s too late. Wingstop forgot to put ranch in the bag. The only part of your meal that mattered. Obviously the…
Is there anything better than a grilled cheese? That crisp, butter-soaked bread, the gooey, stretchy cheese, the divine pairing of a cup of tomato soup…
AUBURN, N.Y. – Local dad and notorious shit disturber Walter Morris patiently waited for a lull during his family’s lovely Christmas dinner to launch into…
BOSTON — Studies conducted at MIT show that when visiting a Chipotle Mexican Grill location, the person in front of you will always be a…
INDIANAPOLIS — Local man, and Duolingo enthusiast, Brandon Cole horrified friends and acquaintances gathered at an Italian restaurant when he attempted to order food for…