SPARKS, Nev. — Local methamphetamine addict Chuck “Bucket” Kane was shocked to discover an invitation to tour a secretive drug lab in his bag of…
ATHENS, Ga. — Local punk Adam Rondeau was absolutely outraged that a venue did not provide a changing table in the men’s room so he…
LOS ANGELES — Local advocacy group the National Youth Anti-Drug Media Campaign issued a chilling new public service announcement claiming overuse of marijuana could cause…
NEW ORLEANS — Ian McSeamus, the infamous frontman of the punk band Ghost Chode, announced that he is celebrating six months of sobriety which drew…
BOSTON — An adorable beginning to a relationship happened today as two punks had a meet-cute while accidentally Lady and the Tramp-ing line of cocaine,…
WASHINGTON — The Drug Enforcement Agency announced plans to reschedule marijuana from the strict Schedule I classification to the chiller Schedule III after experiencing a…
BOSTON — Members of local straight edge band Hard Pass reportedly broke edge in front of a small crowd within minutes of taking the stage…
The ‘70s are back, baby, and they’re right here in my 250-square-foot apartment. I’m reliving the debauchery of the decade by masturbating to completion, taking…
“Breaking Bad,” along with “The Sopranos” and “The Wire” in the 2000s and early 2010s, defined the golden age of television, and while many have…
CORAM, N.Y. — Local eight-year-old Evie Doyleson was completely turned off by the idea of having to celebrate 311 Day twice due to her recently…
PHILADELPHIA– A group of local concertgoers in their late 30s were spotted this past weekend excitedly passing around a little baggie of ear plugs they…
LOS ANGELES — Self-help book “Addicted to Success: Eight Habits of the Highly Motivated” reportedly watched helplessly today as its self-improvement lessons were completely ignored…
We all know that ketamine is actually for horses. Well, technically for various veterinary and medical uses, but mostly horses. Still, humans have been enjoying…
CHICAGO — Punk dad Paul Bourne was briefly overcome by a wave of nostalgia for his reckless life before kids after seeing a carefree man…
COLUMBIA, Mo. — Local psychedelic enthusiast Sam Roscoe, 27, is reportedly seizing every given opportunity to flaunt his ego death as an exercise in parading…