Tim Graham
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PITTSBURGH — A punk-themed YouTube show called “Huff Ones” where guests inhale volatile substances is gaining popularity despite warnings from…
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SIMSBURY, Conn. — Local straight edge high schoolers recently stated that their commitment to living a drug- and alcohol-free lifestyle…
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SPRINGFIELD, Va. — Local Drug Enforcement Administration (DEA) representative Luther Sacristan Diaz confirmed that Elon Musk’s rampant ketamine habit is…
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Dan Rice
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I don’t mean to come off as preachy or superior, but I’ve always felt sorry for people who need to…
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Jason VanSlycke
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PORTLAND, Ore. — A time capsule that a local punk buried 25 years ago was recently unearthed and discovered to…
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Dan Rice
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NEW HAVEN, Conn. — Local punk Pattie “Two Dollar” O’Malley set up a foundation dedicated to researching and curing “coke…
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Jennifer Donovan
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The joyless march towards death comes with many indignities like wearing earplugs at concerts, knees that can’t outrun cops, or…
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Matt McInerney
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As millions of Americans are committing to a “Dry January” in earnest, millions more are realizing, “Hey, wait, what the…
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Ian Steffé
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PHILADELPHIA — Local man Nathan Burke was traumatized by an onslaught of unattractive people in Fairmount Park after he took…
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Steve Packosky
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REDDING, Calif. – Former junior high bully and antagonist of a 1990 anti-drug PSA Ryan Telley is reportedly still pushing…
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