Steve Packosky
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WASHINGTON — President Donald Trump decided on a whim to pardon former Subway spokesperson and confessed serial child molester Jared…
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Matt Husser
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WASHINGTON — As a flurry of new US tariffs continued to shake the world economy, President Trump announced the only…
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Ryan Danley
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WASHINGTON — Megadeth frontman Dave Mustaine is petitioning the Trump administration to institute a new law to prevent bands from…
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Tim Sheard
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WASHINGTON — Trump brothers Don Jr. and Eric were witnessed throwing tantrums in the White House halls, insisting their father…
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Lauren Grimaldi
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WASHINGTON — Vice President JD Vance once again shared his belief that Americans need to be having more babies, though…
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Tim Sheard
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LEBANON, Kan. — The Trump administration announced that the Department of Education has been wholly replaced by a giant iPad…
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Jeff Bender
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HAMDEN, Conn. — A new Quinnipiac University poll suggested that President Trump’s approval ratings hit an all-time high among nine-year-olds…
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BRAUNAU AM INN, Austria — Democratic Congressman David Eastlund of Nevada bent the rules of time and space as we…
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Doug Kolic
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WASHINGTON — President Donald Trump directed his soon-to-be Secretary of Education, Linda McMahon, to immediately shut down the predominantly black…
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Sean Fallon
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TAMPA, Fla. — Local curmudgeon John McCallister loudly revealed that he believed wheelchair ramps are woke, despite once being capable…
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