CANTON, Mass. — Observers of the cover art of Dio’s 1983 debut masterpiece “Holy Diver” collectively agreed that the priest depicted being whipped by a…
Metalhead Shows More Conviction Arguing About Superiority of Dio-Era Black Sabbath Than He Did Arguing for Custody of His Own Children
ADDISON, Vt. – Metalhead Adam Brockford showed more conviction arguing with a stranger about Black Sabbath outside the Addison County Courthouse than he had shown…
Every Black Sabbath Album Ranked Worst to Best
You. Yeah, you. You think you’re a badass huh. Well, here’s some news for you Walter Kronkite. You’re not. But you know who is a…
DAYTON, Ohio — Managers at a local Guitar Center decided not to offer a sales position to Brandon McDougal after he miserably failed the “Black…
Every Dio Album Ranked Worst to Best
The origins of Dio can be traced back to of all things a mixing disagreement for a live album. Band namesake Ronnie James Dio and…
If “Dio” Is Italian for “God” Then Why Won’t These Vatican Pussies Play Some “Holy Diver?”
I came to Vatican City to pay my respects to the all-time metal God, Ronnie James Dio, and I expected to find like-minded fellow worshipers…
BRIDGEPORT, Conn. — Heavy Metal Archaeologists remain locked in fierce debate over who erected a pyramid of Coors Light cans that was recently excavated from…
5 Lame Dio Hand Gestures That Didn’t Catch On
In the annals of heavy metal singers, few stood as tall as one Ronnie James Dio. As the frontman for Heaven & Hell, Rainbow and…
Dio Hologram Forms Three Other Side Projects
LOS ANGELES — The holographic image of late heavy metal icon Ronnie James Dio has broken away from its original programming and is now working…