LAS VEGAS — A sound clip from 1989 film “Steel Magnolias” was accidentally used in the beginning of the song “Axewound Rhinoplasty” by notorious death/grind…
The Death Metal Fan’s Guide To Finding the Perfect Pair of Camo Cargo Shorts for Your Tinder Date
We all know dating sucks, but one of the Internet’s few redeeming qualities is its ability to match you with someone you have a better…
Death Metal Band Debuts New Logo After Bassist Takes Photo of Cooked Spaghetti He Spilled on the Floor
TAMPA, Fla. — Local death metal band Sinister Descent unveiled a brand new logo after bassist Saul Cohen had the presence of mind to photograph…
If You’re Thinking All the Stamina it Takes to be a Death Metal Drummer Translates to the Bedroom, Well, You Couldn’t be More Wrong
I know that anytime you go to a metal show and focus in on the drummer pounding away on the skins at 250 beats per…
Grindcore Fan Thinks All Death Metal Sounds the Same
REHOBOTH BEACH, Del. — Local grindcore fan Nick Heineke recently criticized all death metal for sounding exactly the same, confirmed sources who didn’t necessarily disagree.…
Every Immortal Album Ranked Worst to Best
Immortal has no bad albums and in many ways they are the total package. They’ve been around long enough to have real cred. They’re from…
Every Deicide Album Ranked Worst to Best
In a way, we’re thankful to whoever tried to ram Christianity down Glen Benton’s throat during his childhood, as the end result was a chip…
Heartwarming: Metalhead Proposes to Girlfriend During “I Cum Blood” Introduction at Cannibal Corpse Show
CHICAGO — Local metalhead Dirk Felton proposed to his girlfriend Jade Oliver at the beginning of “I Cum Blood” during a recent Cannibal Corpse show,…
We Sat Down With Death Metal Icon, My Dad Sneezing
When we think about death metal, we think about the deep, growling vocals made synonymous with the subgenre by such figures as Aman Amarth’s Johan…
Every Cryptopsy Album Ranked Worst to Best
Cryptopsy’s music is what people who hate metal think of when they hear the phrase “death metal.” It’s chaotic and techy, can feel out of…
Every Suffocation Album Ranked Worst to Best
Long Island’s brutal death metal progenitors Suffocation have been gouging out the eyes of unsuspecting music fans for well over three decades at this point.…
Every Broken Hope Album Ranked Worst to Best
Ahhh, Broken Hope. If you’re a fan of death metal and have never heard of them, first off, call every single one of your friends…
Guy Wearing Six Feet Under Shirt at Death Metal Show Either Undercover Cop or Just Chris Barnes
TAMPA, Fla. — Attendees at a local death metal show Saturday night were leery of a suspicious man wearing a Six Feet Under t-shirt, who…
BALTIMORE — Local death metal band Infested Remains landed in hot water after fans criticized the AI-generated corpse on their latest album’s artwork for looking…
Every Cannibal Corpse Album Ranked Worst to Best
Heavy metal and parental outrage, name a more iconic duo. From the early days of rock n roll satanic panic, and even congressional hearings, metal…