MADISON, Wis. — The University of Wisconsin’s Center for Climatic Research released a damning report suggesting that almost 70 percent of all carbon emissions are…
Opinion: My Favorite Hometown Dive Bar May be a Panera Bread Now, But That Won’t Stop Me From Getting Absolutely Shit-Housed and Crying in the Parking Lot
They say that home is where you make it, and when I found out that my favorite hometown watering hole was replaced with a Panera…
LOS ANGELES — Supergroup boygenius asked fans at the rear of the audience to lower the volume of their sobbing during a recent show at…
What the Fuck: This Woman’s Carfax Report Includes Time Spent Cry-screaming to Florence + the Machine
Just to be clear, I’m kind of a sad person. Not like a mildly pessimistic, “Mitch McConnell droopy-drawls” kind of sad, but like a “my…
If The Weather Is So “Bipolar,” How Come It Never Wrote A Rock Opera About My Cat Then Cried For 3 Hours?
I am here today to talk about a false equivalency that has finally bothered me to the breaking point. Folks, the weather is not “Bipolar.”…
Well, the Hollywood liberal propaganda machine is back folks, and in full force, this time in the guise of a sci-fi flick called “Everything Everywhere…
LAUREL, Md. — Local emotional person Cara Lucas was interrupted while crying and shouting along to the chorus of Bright Eyes song “Poison Oak” by…
SAN FRANCISCO — Airplane passengers aboard Delta flight 2871 from Chicago to Los Angeles are hoping local softboy Lou Mounton will eventually just cry himself…
Just as music fans argue about genre classifications, foodies debate cuisines. And there is no cuisine more abstract than that which goes by the name…
We Interviewed the Girl From High School That Fucked a Dog and Turns out That Was Just a Mean Rumor
Yo. You’ll never guess who we got a chance to sit down with. Remember that girl, from high school, Kayla Green? YUP! The one that…
I think it’s time for me to come clean. Yes, I did cry the entire when I got my new tattoo, but it wasn’t because…
Friends are arguably just as, if not more, important than family. A bond thicker than blood. They’re there for us during the best and worst…
New PUP Album Syncs up Perfectly with Man Crying in Shower
TORONTO — Local man Thoman McKechnie discovered late last night that punk band PUP’s new album Morbid Stuff syncs up perfectly over the sound of…
If you’re anything like me, Valentine’s Day causes you an entire world of anxiety whether you’re in a relationship or not. And also, you’re not.…