Jeff Bender
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HAMDEN, Conn. — A new Quinnipiac University poll suggested that President Trump’s approval ratings hit an all-time high among nine-year-olds…
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Sean Fallon
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TAMPA, Fla. — Local curmudgeon John McCallister loudly revealed that he believed wheelchair ramps are woke, despite once being capable…
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Matt Husser
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WASHINGTON — A newly leaked Project 2025 memo revealed a recent revision that would restrict nearly all forms of birth…
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Ben Friedman
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ANOKA, Minn. — A conservative anti-abortion picketer was confused after being unable to convert a single person to his cause,…
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Peter Ferrarese
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BETHLEHEM, Pa. — Local conservative man and general douchebag Chet Dyker was spotted at a Halloween party this past weekend…
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Ben Friedman
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With this country basically divided into only two camps, I feel like I’m on crazy pills for having a more…
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Tim Sheard
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NEW YORK — Vice Presidential candidate Tim Walz recently revealed that he has been practicing for the debate with J.D.…
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Chris Bowen
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If you're a Misfits fan, you know you have to pick a side. It's either “Team Danzig,” or it's “Team…
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Tim Graham
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DERRY, N.H. — Conservative divorcee and frequent conspiracy forum visitor Ken Doherty claims his lifestyle epitomizes the punk rock ethos,…
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Steve Packosky
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ELLICOTT CITY, Md. — Local resident and supposed Staind fan Brandon Vintner wasn’t even present at the attempted coup on…
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