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4 stories found

Desperate Kevin McCarthy Agrees to Two Over-the-Pants Handjobs in Exchange for House Speaker Votes in His Favor

The Hard Times Staff • January 5, 2023

WASHINGTON — Embattled Rep. Kevin McCarthy offered Republican colleagues two over-the-pants handjobs, redeemable at any time within his term, if…

Hard Rock Cafe Manager Will Let You Hold The INXS Guitar If You Help Jump His Car

Dicky Stock • July 3, 2021

MYRTLE BEACH, S.C. — Hard Rock Cafe Manager Kyle Neeson offered the chance to hold the INXS guitar hanging in…

We Sat Down With a Libertarian Because We Didn’t Know

Dan Rice • June 24, 2021

Alternative journalism makes for strange bedfellows, that’s just the way it goes. But every now and then it puts you…

Opinion: I Lied About Liking Your Band. Now It’s Your Turn

Jonah Nink • January 15, 2021

Alright shithead, listen up. I put on my little song and dance about how much I like your band’s new…