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4 stories found

How to Park Your Car Directly on the White Lines to Establish You’re the Alpha at This Trader Joe’s

Vince Ratti • March 2, 2023

Do you command total respect but also enjoy a playful shopping atmosphere while stocking up on quirky pantry items? Are…

If I Don’t Wear My “Fuck Joe Biden” Shirt to This Child’s Birthday Party, How Will All the Other Parents Know I’m an Alpha?

Steve Esparra • September 6, 2022

It's hard work being one of the only true Alpha Males left in this world. A major part of being…

I’m All for Feminism in This Scene as Long as These Bitches Realize I’m the Alpha

Caroline Smith • April 6, 2021

Hey gals. Super huge feminist here. A giant feminist. A gargantuan one even. I believe I should have the same…

beta, male, beta male, slap, drywall

Beta Male Slaps Dent Into Drywall

John Danek • December 20, 2019

COLUMBIA, Md. – Non-confrontational wuss Samuel Bleck took out decades of built-up frustration today by open-palm slapping drywall in his…