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Review: Turnstile “Glow On”

It’s been over three years since Baltimore’s Turnstile rocked the world of hardcore with their “Time & Space” album. Now, after teasing fans with their latest EP “Turnstile Love Connection,” the band is back with their third, genre-defying full length record Glow On via Roadrunner Records.

This band does a masterful job of weaving playful arpeggiated melodies into their hook heavy hardcore riffs and the first song on the album “Mystery” is a testament to that. It’s actually upsetting how good these songs are. So much so that in the course of me trying to figure out how they do it, I accidentally took out my frustration on my loved ones. I’m not proud of my behavior but, in my defense, what kind of person tries to talk to someone wearing headphones? I was obviously focused on something.

I understand that it’s rude to listen to music at the dinner table when everybody is trying to celebrate your parents’ 40 year marriage anniversary but have you listened to that song “No Surprise?” What the fuck is even going on there? It’s so fucking catchy and good but there isn’t a single guitar or drum on it. There are a billion wedding anniversaries happening every day. Name me another Hardcore record with a song like that on it. I fucking DARE YOU! I’ll save you the trouble. You can’t. That song is in it’s own category.

Maybe if my family got their heads out of their asses we could have shared the experience together and they wouldn’t have been so alarmed when I flipped the table yelling “BOOM BOOM BOOM” before running around the house in slow motion. In hindsight, I see how that could have been a little weird but you know what’s weirder? Calling the cops on your own son. I thought this was a night to celebrate love. Not a night to watch your oldest son pull the gun off an officer’s hip and create a whole hostage situation.

I do appreciate the fact that the cops didn’t have their body cams activated and my folks decided not to press charges. Not as much as I appreciate the fact that Turnstile continue to cultivate an original sound that transcends the bounds of traditional hardcore. Don’t miss out on this masterpiece.

Score: 5/5 Wholesome Family Gatherings

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