Press "Enter" to skip to content

Review: Candy “Good to Feel”

Richmond, Virginia is no stranger to extreme music, and the 2018 debut LP ‘Good To Feel’ from Candy, one of the capital city’s favorite young hardcore bands, is a clear example of that. The way in which these nine noisy, sample-heavy, face-ripping tracks are sampled is sheer perfection.

I’m sure you might be waiting to say something corny about how this is the type of CANDY you can consume without pissing off your dentist but I won’t. I have too much integrity to even fathom saying something as asinine as that. However, since we’re on the subject, you really shouldn’t eat too much of that shit. Especially if you don’t have any dental insurance because you know what isn’t GOOD TO FEEL? Your conscious brain actively processing the true horror of a quadruple wisdom tooth extraction.

When I found out I was going to be getting all four of those rotting fuckers pulled out of my head, I thought it was going to be like all the other oral surgery experiences I had heard about. A quick procedure involving some laughing gas followed by a silly ride home with a loved one who takes a video of me in a delirious state saying something so hilarious that I go viral on the internet and am eventually invited to go on “Ellen.”

That wasn’t the case at all. I didn’t have good enough insurance for the gas. I didn’t need to plan for somebody to pick me up because I was going to be fully conscious during the entire procedure. They brought me into the room, sat me in the chair, put on my bib and started shooting my gums full of that sweet novocaine. After about ten minutes of waiting for the twelve pumps of God’s mercy juice to numb my mouth the dentist picked up their barbaric metal tools and began prying the decaying bones from my jaw. The pain was nonexistent, however the sound of my teeth breaking and crunching continues to haunt me. I haven’t had a piece of candy since.

In conclusion, this record is nothing like that. This record is actually pleasurable. You can have it as much as you possibly want without ever finding yourself sitting in a chair with a mouth full of blood as they extract parts of bone from inside your face.

Score: 5 times better than uninsured oral surgery