CINCINNATI — Bolt Thrower fan Harold Rodriguez was disappointed in the reaction to his custom playlist by fellow members of his Warhammer 40K meetup, sources…
JACKSONVILLE – Lead singer of the alt-rock band Up Above declined to tell the audience he couldn’t hear them as they legitimately did a very…
You know what the worst part about being sober is? I’ll let you guess. Okay, answer time: the fact that I can’t get rip-roaring drunk…
MILWAUKEE — Local punk Noah Vickens harbored resentment against people who don’t bat an eye at his appearance, confirmed sources who shrugged their shoulders as…
JERUSALEM — Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu reportedly forced his weekly game night attendees to play Crimes Against Humanity for the twelfth consecutive Saturday, despite…
It’s strange how some situations can mirror others almost exactly. For example, a tennis match can look indecipherable from a pickleball match to an outsider.…
CUPERTINO, Calif. — Apple CEO Tim Cook announced that the tech giant would begin harvesting beloved Saturday morning cartoon icon Captain Planet for rare minerals…
In the book of Genesis, it is said that the Babylonians endeavored to build a tower that could reach heaven. God, feeling threatened, made them…
EAU CLAIRE, Wisc. — Justin Vernon surprised fans by announcing the next highly anticipated Bon Iver release will only be available via carrier pigeon delivery,…
It’s been another week filled with new experiences, growth, and constant horrors. If you’ve been trudging through all of this without a good soundtrack, it’s…
I knew going into the office kitchenette was a mistake. I foolishly exchanged pleasantries with someone from accounting, I think his name is Harold but…
ATLANTA — Hooters officials announced a new promotion for their chain of nearly 500 restaurants nationwide to offer free food on Sundays to fathers who…
The results of this year’s presidential election will forever stand as a moment in which America, for the second time, looked in the mirror and…
BOSTON – Notable rock band Aerosmith issued an apology for previously operating under the mistaken assumption that the world wanted to hear their music for…
As the inauguration looms closer, Trump’s preliminary cabinet picks continue to stir controversy. Many view choices like RFK, Linda McMahon and noted TV quack Dr.…