LODI, N.J. — Misfits lead singer Glenn Danzig is reportedly amending the band’s ongoing request for skulls to include leg bones, if absolutely necessary, confirmed…
VATICAN CITY — Teenage tourists, Ronny Brewster, 17, and his best friend James “Cobra” Mooreston, 16, inadvertently elected a new Pope after getting caught vaping…
WASHINGTON — President Donald Trump issued a mandate that all federal employees must cease obtaining vaccinations and instead schedule weekly Botox injections, confirmed sources. “We…
It was unmistakably Eric Andre ordering a Chablis on the rocks next to me at the bar. I’m a pretty big comedy fan (name a…
RICHMOND, Va. — Metal band GWAR’s newest lead vocalist was announced via a giant white steam cloud of creamy ejaculate spouting out of the roof…
VATICAN CITY – The Holy See Press Office announced that Pope Francis chose the calming embrace of death rather than experience any additional time spent…
HOUSTON — A local 39-year-old Rockets fan’s entire financial future is dependent on hitting a promotional half-court shot worth $100,000, said nearby sources. “I don’t…
It seems like everybody these days has a cause that they truly believe in. Whether it’s fighting for a person’s right to bodily autonomy or…
NASHVILLE, Tenn. — Popular musician turned right-wing icon Kid Rock revealed a line from his 1999 hit “Bawitaba” referred to the infamous Riemann mathematical conjecture…
NEW YORK — Local punk rocker and present-day messiah, Lenny “Resin” Jackson stunned the masses crashing at his squat by using his divine abilities to…
It’s 4/20, and you’re probably thinking, “Who cares, I already smoke weed every day,” right? Well, what if I told you that even the most…
PORTLAND, Ore. — A group of local potheads went door to door singing stoner metal carols to celebrate 4/20, confirmed sources peering outside their blinds.…
I don’t mean to come off as preachy or superior, but I’ve always felt sorry for people who need to consume a substance to have…
WASHINGTON — President Donald Trump delayed the annual White House Easter Egg Roll a in order to allow time to thank all the corporate sponsors…
OCEAN TOWNSHIP, N.J. — Tilly, a haunted Victorian era doll recently donated to a local Goodwill, is on the cusp of tormenting the souls of…