NEWARK, Ohio — Local man John Regan went on a 20-minute tirade about gasoline prices while live streaming from his F150 pickup truck with the…
If there’s one golden rule that I follow, it’s not letting on to anyone I work with that I’m in a band. When I mentioned…
FRAMINGHAM, Mass. — Self-described “audiophile” and “vinyl junkie” Jerry Cordman possesses encyclopedic knowledge of the first half of countless masterful albums, a unique trait that…
WASHINGTON — The National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH) revealed that ICE agents just aren’t killing themselves, despite being complete and utter dickbags with zero…
It’s Jacob’s mother’s birthday, and he wants you to know his mom is his whole world… His hero. His queen. His rock. His first love.…
LOS ANGELES — Streaming giant Amazon Prime announced today the upcoming release of “I’m The One,” an alternate-history series that ponders how history might change…
HONOLULU — Local skateboarding bulldog Excalibur reportedly pushes the board with his back legs instead of his front ones like a dork, according to its…
Rick Stiever is a man of simple means. The unassuming veteran of the Humboldt County Fire Department is a lean, goateed man of 46 years…
BOSTON — Middle-aged punk Mickey “Goatfucker” Sullivan never thought that swallowing several pills at once would be the most mundane part of his day, confirmed…
CHARLOTTESVILLE, Va. — Local landlord Larry McNulty was compelled to raise rent to cover the ever-rising cost of never doing anything whatsoever, confirmed sources who…
My prayers have been answered: EPA restrictions are getting rolled back! This is going to make my afternoon hallucinations so much more wild. Bring those…
CHICAGO — Pregnant woman Janice Bonder found herself second-guessing her decision to bring new life into a world where popular metal band Metallica was still…
The unofficial award season began this week with the highly anticipated 2025 edition of the American Music Awards. Because we’re so cool and edgy, we…
NEW YORK — Random House Children’s Books official reissue of the long-dismissed 1991 Dr. Seuss manuscript “Oh, The Ways You’re Fucked!” is quickly becoming the…
You can’t deny that Green Day’s “Dookie” is a legendary album. Therefore, when we heard that frontman Billie Joe Armstrong had given a tell-all interview…