Jack White Bans Fans From Concerts
NASHVILLE — Rock and Roll Hall of Fame inductee Jack White officially banned fans from attending his concerts, citing a desire to “get rid of all the fucking bullshit and just play,” confirmed sources. “We partnered with Fandr, a startup…
Airbnb Checkout Instructions Include Reupholstering, Drywall Repair
LOS ANGELES — Local tourist Daniela Harper was stunned to discover her Airbnb checkout instructions included what most would call full-scale construction work, sources confirmed…. <a href="https://thehardtimes.net/" class="font-medium" style="color: #3eb565;" onmouseover="this.style.color='#35a058'" onmouseout="this.style.color='#3eb565'">Continue this tale</a>
Hardcore Band Cites Different Band With Same Members as Major Influence
Couple Plans on Binge-Watching Shows Until Fascism Blows Over
UPPER MARLBORO, Md. — Wayne and Heidi Stevens intend to wait out the US’ burgeoning authoritarian regime by consuming an abundance of TV shows, according… <a href="https://thehardtimes.net/" class="font-medium" style="color: #3eb565;" onmouseover="this.style.color='#35a058'" onmouseout="this.style.color='#3eb565'">Read more nonsense</a>
We Completely Made up This Interview With Dave Mustaine Because We Didn’t Want To Talk to Him
Alright, we can’t be blamed for this one. Would you be excited if you were assigned to conduct an interview with thrash metal’s most obnoxious… <a href="https://thehardtimes.net/" class="font-medium" style="color: #3eb565;" onmouseover="this.style.color='#35a058'" onmouseout="this.style.color='#3eb565'">Read more nonsense</a>
How To Increase Your Income by Helping Those Teenagers Outside 7-Eleven Buy Beer
Undercover Cop Only One on Time to DIY Show
SAN DIEGO — A local venue uncovered a sting operation within their premises when a plainsclothes police officer blew his cover by being the only… <a href="https://thehardtimes.net/" class="font-medium" style="color: #3eb565;" onmouseover="this.style.color='#35a058'" onmouseout="this.style.color='#3eb565'">Continue reading this gem</a>
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Music
Dave From Dave’s Killer Bread Inducted Into Rock and Roll Hall of Fame
CLEVELAND — Dave Dahl, best known as the face and founder of Dave’s Killer Bread, was inducted into the Rock ‘n’ Roll Hall of Fame (RRHOF) during a ceremony last weekend, sources confirmed. “When I was getting my life together…
Undercover Cop Only One on Time to DIY Show
SAN DIEGO — A local venue uncovered a sting operation within their premises when a…
Geese Fan’s Parents Get Her Goose Tickets for Christmas
NEEDHAM, Mass. — A self-avowed super fan of the rock band Geese was surprised by…
Jumbotron at Weezer Show Exposes Tech CEO for Being Completely Alone
CLEVELAND — The jumbotron at a local Weezer concert exposed an important tech CEO for…
Punk House's Only Working Light Is Tip of Vape Pen
EASTON, Pa. — Residents of a local punk house are officially down to the glowing…
Featured Posts
The Next Alex Jones? This Parrot Learned To Say “Deep State”
Does anyone want to buy a parrot? He’s a beautiful blue and yellow macaw, very well-behaved, enjoys grapes, and, unfortunately,…
“Our Story” Section of Wedding Website Doubles as Historical Fiction
NASHVILLE, Tenn. — Avid readers of TheKnot.com report that a couple’s “Our Story” section on their personal wedding website, where…
Democrats Placated By Decision to Rename Alligator Alcatraz the “Ruth Bader Ginsburg Memorial Detention Facility”
WASHINGTON — Congressional Democrats achieved “yet another satisfying moral victory” against the GOP by convincing their Republican counterparts to rename…
Opinion: I Have a Substack Because I’m an Expert, and I’m an Expert Because I Have a Substack
If you’re looking for true expertise, then look no further than Substack. I know this because I have my own…