Trump Renews Allegations of Voter Fraud After Being Denied Thrasher’s “Skater of the Year”
WASHINGTON — President Trump is reportedly instructing the Justice Department to look into instances of voter fraud at Thrasher Magazine after they awarded their coveted “Skater of the Year” title to Chris Joslin, sources confirmed. “The…
Glitch in the Matrix? I Started Drinking and Now It’s Four Days Later
Not to startle you, but I’m currently 8 beers deep. Which means if you’re reading this, I may already be in the future. Possibly. I’m… <a href="https://thehardtimes.net/" class="font-medium" style="color: #3eb565;" onmouseover="this.style.color='#35a058'" onmouseout="this.style.color='#3eb565'">Continue reading this gem</a>
C-SPAN Spices Up Coverage With Congressional Kiss Cam
Band Photo Features Shirts of Four Better Bands
TORRANCE, Calif. — Up-and-coming hardcore band Loaf High are fending off critics after releasing a new batch of promo pictures that depict them wearing merch… <a href="https://thehardtimes.net/" class="font-medium" style="color: #3eb565;" onmouseover="this.style.color='#35a058'" onmouseout="this.style.color='#3eb565'">Read the full masterpiece</a>
We Sat Down With the Ghostwriter of Trump’s Touching Eulogy To Rob Reiner
When you enter the world of politics, you are no longer just a person; you’re a brand. Everything you say publicly has to match that… <a href="https://thehardtimes.net/" class="font-medium" style="color: #3eb565;" onmouseover="this.style.color='#35a058'" onmouseout="this.style.color='#3eb565'">Continue reading this gem</a>
Guy About to Cum Won’t Shut Up About it
Opinion: You Can Be a Progressive and Still Hunt the Homeless for Sport – Guest Column by Gavin Newsom
My name is Chief Bob’s Big Boy in Charge of Things — Gavin Newsom. I’m writing this op-ed currently and with great intentions to talk… <a href="https://thehardtimes.net/" class="font-medium" style="color: #3eb565;" onmouseover="this.style.color='#35a058'" onmouseout="this.style.color='#3eb565'">Continue reading this gem</a>
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Music
Bandmates Makes Pact If They're Still Alive at 27 They'll Kill Each Other
TACOMA, Wash. — Members of punk band The Shitbutts renewed their commitment to joining the 27 Club with a pact to kill each other if they're still alive at 27, sources confirmed. "At the rate we're going, I'm 99% sure…
Diddy to be Allowed Conjugal Freak-Offs
FORT DIX, N.J. — The Fort Dix Federal Correctional Institute announced that it has granted…
Bad Religion Saves Money by Having Greg Graffin's TA Drive the Tour Bus Again
LOS ANGELES — Legendary punk band Bad Religion decided to cut costs for an upcoming…
Legendary Noise Band Reunites With Original Laptop
POUGHKEEPSIE, N.Y. — Seminal noise outfit GÜNT has reunited with its original laptop and founding…
Gonorrhea Outbreak Somehow Not the Worst Part of Bret Michaels Concert
CLEARWATER, Fla. — A gonorrhea outbreak during an outdoor Bret Michaels concert at the BayCare…
Featured Posts
The Next Alex Jones? This Parrot Learned To Say “Deep State”
Does anyone want to buy a parrot? He’s a beautiful blue and yellow macaw, very well-behaved, enjoys grapes, and, unfortunately,…
“Our Story” Section of Wedding Website Doubles as Historical Fiction
NASHVILLE, Tenn. — Avid readers of TheKnot.com report that a couple’s “Our Story” section on their personal wedding website, where…
Democrats Placated By Decision to Rename Alligator Alcatraz the “Ruth Bader Ginsburg Memorial Detention Facility”
WASHINGTON — Congressional Democrats achieved “yet another satisfying moral victory” against the GOP by convincing their Republican counterparts to rename…
Opinion: I Have a Substack Because I’m an Expert, and I’m an Expert Because I Have a Substack
If you’re looking for true expertise, then look no further than Substack. I know this because I have my own…