There are two types of people in this world: People who like to believe they wouldn’t hide their zombie bite from their survivor group, and…
PORTLAND — Local punk and hopeful train hopper Marc Harcourt is still currently standing on a set of railroad tracks as he had no real…
NEW YORK — Tony’s Tracksuits CEO Anthony Dante announced this morning that the tracksuit industry’s image “will never recover” from the success of Netflix’s latest…
NORTH HALEDON, N.J. — A recently cleaned bedroom was left completely ravaged and covered in underwear, socks, receipts, and pillows in local woman Katherine Hart’s…
I believe that public safety is important, but between the “Warning: Correctional Facility in Area” signs, the creepy weirdo who told us “This town is…
CAMDEN, N.J. — Turntable manufacturing giants, Victrola, released a new line of 8-in-1 Bluetooth record players that promise to give any Spotify playlist a warmer,…
Most people fondly remember the early days of MTV, when the cable channel showed nonstop music videos. However in the early 2000s, the network altered…
First of all, I don’t see what’s so funny about this. I am in a lot of pain, and I’m just looking for advice on…
CHICAGO — Local man Nicholas Braun completely rearranged his vinyl record collection in order to achieve optimal impressiveness for his upcoming date with Alison Prenwich,…
Our favorite self-proclaimed health nut and animal empath Kara Andrews is celebrating her 10th anniversary of thinking of going vegan with a well-deserved slice of…
BELO HORIZONTE, Brazil — A team of explorers recently discovered a previously unheard album by heavy metal band Sepultura hidden deep in the Amazon rainforest,…
PALM BEACH, Fla. — Users signing up for TRUTH Social, the social media platform started by former President Donald J. Trump, will not only be…
Aw hells yeah! That thing I love about metalcore is happening again! It started off with a couple light strums to get me all primed…
LINCOLN, Neb. — A local woman was seen performing life-sustaining measures on her Marlboro Menthol cigarette after finding it barely clinging to life at the…
The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles have been a pop culture phenomenon since Peter Laird and Kevin Eastman first debuted them in 1984. From children’s cartoons…