Tradition, Elegance, and the Height of Fashion: A Breakdown of Prince Andrew’s Lavish $100,000,000 Arrest Ceremony
It’s a great day to be a royal watcher! The arrest of former Prince Andrew for misconduct in the office marks the first arrest of someone in the royal family since the 17th century — that’s right — the first great royal arrest ceremony to g…
Legendary Character Actor Tom Noonan, Standing Behind You, Right Now, Dead at 74
Film fans across the country mourn today, learning that beloved actor Tom Noonan, known for roles such as Frankenstein in Monster Squad, and the guy… <a href="https://thehardtimes.net/" class="font-medium" style="color: #3eb565;" onmouseover="this.style.color='#35a058'" onmouseout="this.style.color='#3eb565'">Get the full story</a>
Marco Rubio Working Two Jobs to Starve Kids
Home Alone 1 Pulls Hitler Cameo From Streaming
BURBANK, Calif. —Citing widespread criticism and calls for a boycott, Disney has announced it will pull the now-controversial Adolph Hitler scene from “Home Alone” on… <a href="https://thehardtimes.net/" class="font-medium" style="color: #3eb565;" onmouseover="this.style.color='#35a058'" onmouseout="this.style.color='#3eb565'">Read the full masterpiece</a>
Long Shot, but Would Anyone Like To Hang Out and Talk About Stoned Ape Theory With Me, Who Is, and I Cannot Stress This Enough, NOT a Racist?
Fringe theory used to be fun. You just sat around getting stoned for hours on end, speculating wildly about topics you lacked any formal education… <a href="https://thehardtimes.net/" class="font-medium" style="color: #3eb565;" onmouseover="this.style.color='#35a058'" onmouseout="this.style.color='#3eb565'">Read more nonsense</a>
Man Breaks World Record for Most Failed Attempts at ‘The Artist’s Way’
Small Town Takes Pride in Band That Moved Out of There the Second They Got Successful
FITCHBURG, Ariz. — A small town took extreme pride in the success of local band Okay Jerry despite the group high-tailing it out of there… <a href="https://thehardtimes.net/" class="font-medium" style="color: #3eb565;" onmouseover="this.style.color='#35a058'" onmouseout="this.style.color='#3eb565'">Read the full masterpiece</a>
Music
Crust Punk Claims Pubic Lice as Dependents
PITTSBURGH — Crust punk Hugh McVeely attempted to claim his pubic lice as dependents while filing his taxes, repulsed sources report. “I read online that you can be eligible for various tax credits and an increased refund for each dependent,”…
Five World War I Themed Metal Bands To Check Out Since You Forgot To Study for Your History Final
World War I, or The Great War, was an unbelievably vast, global conflict that took…
Small Town Takes Pride in Band That Moved Out of There the Second They Got Successful
FITCHBURG, Ariz. — A small town took extreme pride in the success of local band…
Holy Shit! New Evidence Suggests the Cops Were Chasing the Gin Blossoms Around in “Hey Jealousy” For a Triple Homicide
Shocking new details have emerged from a VH1 Classic investigation into the Gin Blossoms involvement…
Grindcore Guitarist's Wife Wishes He'd Not Spend Entirety of Her C-Section Taking Pictures For Band's Next Album Cover
ROCHESTER, Minn. — Wife of local grindcore guitarist Denise Sadler was growing increasingly annoyed with…
Featured Posts
The Next Alex Jones? This Parrot Learned To Say “Deep State”
Does anyone want to buy a parrot? He’s a beautiful blue and yellow macaw, very well-behaved, enjoys grapes, and, unfortunately,…
“Our Story” Section of Wedding Website Doubles as Historical Fiction
NASHVILLE, Tenn. — Avid readers of TheKnot.com report that a couple’s “Our Story” section on their personal wedding website, where…
Democrats Placated By Decision to Rename Alligator Alcatraz the “Ruth Bader Ginsburg Memorial Detention Facility”
WASHINGTON — Congressional Democrats achieved “yet another satisfying moral victory” against the GOP by convincing their Republican counterparts to rename…
Opinion: I Have a Substack Because I’m an Expert, and I’m an Expert Because I Have a Substack
If you’re looking for true expertise, then look no further than Substack. I know this because I have my own…