NEW YORK — Local ad agency Brunch Menu launched a new advertising campaign that simply read, “These aren’t your dad’s skinny jeans,” confusing every onlooker…
GAINESVILLE, Fla. — Local noise festival Thwack Fest announced it would be partnering with their sponsors Harbor Freight and Excedrin to give festivalgoers a weekend…
Well, it’s been a long and particularly depressing winter, and it started to feel like it would never end, but wouldn’t you know it, spring…
HOUSTON — Conspiracy theorist Giovanni Holland took to YouTube today to reveal a new theory alleging Neil Armstrong faked his infamous orgasm during the 1969…
Corporate credit rewards policy in this country has gone straight to hell. And HomeGoods is the most corporate credit hell of them all. Frankly I…
WASHINGTON — President Donald Trump directed his soon-to-be Secretary of Education, Linda McMahon, to immediately shut down the predominantly black school from the TV show…
If you read the news like me, it’s easy to stress about the future. The rich get richer and the poor are getting poorer. Fascist,…
TAMPA, Fla. — Local curmudgeon John McCallister loudly revealed that he believed wheelchair ramps are woke, despite once being capable of love and empathy as…
As I write this from a jail cell for accidental tax evasion, I know one thing is certain: the world of finances remains a great…

8 Other Songs Natalie Portman Said Would Change My Life but Ended Up Just Being Indie Rock From 2004
There I was in the neurologist’s office waiting room, sitting next to Natalie Portman. I couldn’t believe it! She was even more beautiful in person…