So here you are in my torture chamber, just begging for me to put you out of your misery. Well as you squirm on your…
PORTSMOUTH, N.H. — Local heterosexual Christine Gonzales was stumped midway through creating an online dating profile after the app asked her if she was interested…
Goodwill can be a goldmine of hidden fashion gems available to anyone on the cheap. You just need to be ok with the fact that…
HYANNIS, Mass. — Self-identifying liberals across the country are choosing to fight back against the draconian Supreme Court decision restricting abortion rights by promising to…
WASHINGTON – The much-younger girlfriend of a prominent Republican Senator is disappointed that she will be too busy having an abortion today to join the…
WASHINGTON — Leading members of the Democratic Party scrambled to open a slew of bank accounts to store the money they hope to raise from…
ATLANTIC CITY, N.J. — Legendary rock guitarist Slash performed his signature behind-the-head guitar solo at a Guns N’ Roses’ concert last weekend, which eyewitnesses claim…
As summer begins in earnest, many people are wondering how they can beat the heat; and also how to let more bugs into the house.…
MEMPHIS — Local artisanal oil maker Lacy Timber demanded that a man wearing a “This Is What A Feminist Looks Like” T-shirt name three feminists…
I was looking at tour dates for one of those younger up-and-coming bands and I couldn’t help but notice that their tour was broken into…
LOS ANGELES — A new clothing line known as Claw promotes itself as the first luxury brand specifically tailored for the goth market and sells…
MADISON, Wis. — 24-year-old aspiring writer Ricky Trout is generously referring to a brief nine-day long spring break vacation as “that time I lived in…
“Law & Order: SVU” spans so many hours of content, that watching it and ranking all of its episodes would take months, if not years.…
Every sober person will tell you that quitting drinking was the greatest decision they’ve ever made. I didn’t believe them at first until out of…
LANCASTER, Penn. — Local punk Jason Harris was disappointed that he is unable to bond with his father over their shared hatred of Joe Biden…