Guy in Motörhead Shirt Sick of People Asking Him To Change Their Carburetors
LAKE FOREST, Ill. — Metalhead Darryl Washburn found himself getting exhausted by the constant requests from his friends and family to change their carburetors after he stepped out of the house in a Motörhead shirt, sources report. “Why i…
Cheater? My Ex-Boyfriend Started Dating Someone New
Don’t bother with handwriting analyses, enneagram tests, and aura readings. Don’t even worry about attachment theory or astrology forecasts. The only way to determine someone’s… <a href="https://thehardtimes.net/" class="font-medium" style="color: #3eb565;" onmouseover="this.style.color='#35a058'" onmouseout="this.style.color='#3eb565'">Continue this tale</a>
Impossible! This Guy Brought a Bag of Clothes Straight to the Thrift Store Instead of Letting It Sit in His Trunk for Three Months
Experts Warn Resurgence of Nu-Metal Could Be a Precursor to Another Swing Revival
ANN ARBOR, Mich. — Experts at the University of Michigan Institute for Social Research have warned that the resurgence of nu-metal over the past few… <a href="https://thehardtimes.net/" class="font-medium" style="color: #3eb565;" onmouseover="this.style.color='#35a058'" onmouseout="this.style.color='#3eb565'">Continue reading this gem</a>
We Completely Made up This Interview With Dave Mustaine Because We Didn’t Want To Talk to Him
Alright, we can’t be blamed for this one. Would you be excited if you were assigned to conduct an interview with thrash metal’s most obnoxious… <a href="https://thehardtimes.net/" class="font-medium" style="color: #3eb565;" onmouseover="this.style.color='#35a058'" onmouseout="this.style.color='#3eb565'">Get the full story</a>
Trump Is Boasting About an Alleged Land Strike in Venezuela — Here’s Why He Is Still a Pedophile
Undercover Cop Only One on Time to DIY Show
SAN DIEGO — A local venue uncovered a sting operation within their premises when a plainsclothes police officer blew his cover by being the only… <a href="https://thehardtimes.net/" class="font-medium" style="color: #3eb565;" onmouseover="this.style.color='#35a058'" onmouseout="this.style.color='#3eb565'">Continue this tale</a>
Stay in the Know
Music
Punk Hibachi Chef Throws Cigarette Butts Into Patrons Mouths
BOSTON — Local punk hibachi chef Joey “Skunk” Robins reportedly hucks cigarette butts into the mouths of customers as opposed to squirting sake, confirmed sources. “I’m just trying to give customers an experience they will never forget and they never…
Baby Saves Marriage, Kills Band
FAIRHAVEN, Mass. — A new baby daughter helped local couple Ben and Hannah Brenner reconnect,…
Guy in Motörhead Shirt Sick of People Asking Him To Change Their Carburetors
LAKE FOREST, Ill. — Metalhead Darryl Washburn found himself getting exhausted by the constant requests…
Experts Warn Resurgence of Nu-Metal Could Be a Precursor to Another Swing Revival
ANN ARBOR, Mich. — Experts at the University of Michigan Institute for Social Research have…
Crust Punk Sets Sail for Fabled Promised Land of Pacific Garbage Patch
SAN FRANCISCO — A local crust punk announced plans to set sail on open waters…
Featured Posts
The Next Alex Jones? This Parrot Learned To Say “Deep State”
Does anyone want to buy a parrot? He’s a beautiful blue and yellow macaw, very well-behaved, enjoys grapes, and, unfortunately,…
“Our Story” Section of Wedding Website Doubles as Historical Fiction
NASHVILLE, Tenn. — Avid readers of TheKnot.com report that a couple’s “Our Story” section on their personal wedding website, where…
Democrats Placated By Decision to Rename Alligator Alcatraz the “Ruth Bader Ginsburg Memorial Detention Facility”
WASHINGTON — Congressional Democrats achieved “yet another satisfying moral victory” against the GOP by convincing their Republican counterparts to rename…
Opinion: I Have a Substack Because I’m an Expert, and I’m an Expert Because I Have a Substack
If you’re looking for true expertise, then look no further than Substack. I know this because I have my own…