AUSTIN, Texas — Members of the instrumental post-rock band Explosions in the Sky condemned Hollywood’s current lack of emotionally resonant sports movies that would be…
CHICAGO — United Airlines unveiled a new ad campaign that will emphasize the length of time that’s passed since the coordinated attacks on the United…
I won’t lie, I definitely take better care of my dog’s health than I do my own. I want to ensure that he lives as…
GREAT BEND, Kan. — Neil Stamp, guitarist for local shoegaze band Quavver, intends to work on playing the guitar as soon as he settles on…
The Y2K bug was supposed to cause the end of the world. At least it was according to your parents’ stories of failing banks, planes…
WILMINGTON, Del. — Former President Joe Biden announced he is embarking on a new project designed to destroy the homes of innocent people living in…
WASHINGTON — The collection of white dorks that make up Elon Musk’s entourage asked for a significant raise if they are expected to publicly defend…
BEDFORD, N.Y. — Local black metal fan Dennis “Bjorn” Rubenstein celebrated the news of the Farmer’s Almanac forecasting a particularly harsh winter this year, several…
I don’t know why everyone always complains about how hard it is to quit smoking, I did it the first time no problem. All I…
CHICAGO — Nu-Metal band Disturbed revealed their 2000 hit “Down with the Sickness” was also a Simon and Garfunkel cover much like their 2015 hit…
WASHINGTON — Elon Musk’s double Nazi salute during today’s inauguration parade led to a tidal wave of approval amongst the nation’s potential school shooters, online…
WASHINGTON — Famed Harry Potter villain Lord Voldemort was spotted at Donald Trump’s Presidential Inauguration, hiding under First Lady Melania Trump’s hat, multiple sources confirmed.…
Some might say Cradle of Filth has too many albums. In fact, we’d say that. So here we go: Cradle of Filth has too many…
WASHINGTON — White House Deputy Chief of Staff Stephen Miller capped off his day by rewatching the death of horse Artax in beloved 1984 children’s…
Take note, Charles Perrault! And would someone PLEASE shove the hemorrhaging corpse of Grace Kelly out of the driver’s seat?? Because there’s a new, real-life…