ANAHEIM, Calif. – A pair of local hardcore lovebirds announced they reached the Disneyland stage of their relationship after several months of courtship, confirmed sources…
Talking politics at whats supposed to be a pleasant family function has always been considered rude, but with our country becoming more polarized each passing…
AUSTIN, Texas — Adrenochrome “Addy” Jones, the five-year-old German Sherperd owned by far-right conspiracy theorist Alex Jones, claims to have proof that the still unnamed…
NEW YORK — A new choose-your-own-adventure horror book intended specifically for individuals in their mid-thirties entitled “Halfway To the Grave” always results in the reader’s…
Hey, you. Yeah, the guy with black square-frame glasses and skinny jeans. Sorry, I was just minding my own business, enjoying the show, when I…
Despite what many of you may think, blink-182 is not the only band from San Diego, and while your favorite band and ours known as…
WASHINGTON – Local punk Rene Johnson was absolutely gobsmacked and quite offended after he got a Slack notification from his boss this afternoon, sources currently…
For 60 years now the BBC’s “Doctor Who” has fascinated viewers with its high-concept sci-fi storytelling, unparalleled mythology/world-building, and inadvertently terrifying bad special effects. Fans…
Thanksgiving! A great way to kick off the season of spending dreadful amounts of time with your relatives, making small talk and pretending to have…
CORTLAND, N.Y. — Local millennial Jacob Horwitz felt nostalgic for a time when corporate rental giant Blockbuster moved into his town and destroyed his aunt…
Hi, sweetie. I was just checking my phone to see if you remembered to call when I realized I never told you the big news:…
If there’s one state you can count on to give you prime quality every time, it’s Florida. From their world renowned tourist attractions to their…
HARRISBURG, Penn. – Local toddler and diehard “Bluey” fan Collette Winston-Bradford expressed immense displeasure with the newer songs by the beloved animated dog, sources picking…
PUEBLO, Colo. – Local downer Henry Bergen recently stopped going through the motions of pretending to wash his hands after using the bathroom, according to…
WEBSTER, N.Y. — Leading music experts unanimously agreed that arguments between fans over which metal bands are considered to be part of which subgenres is…