CHICAGO — Local public bus driver Charlene Algren is fed up with the third “Speed” situation that forced her bus into a heart-pumping thrill ride…
I think I finally found my career: touring musician! It’s been a long, strange path, but I have put in years of work, and it’s…
SAN ANTONIO — Employees at the Hot Topic store in Ingram Park Mall are working diligently to replace all of the Halloween season “The Nightmare…
1997 was a prolific year for rock music with Radiohead’s “OK Computer,” Foo Fighters’ “The Colour And The Shape,” Third Eye Blind’s self-titled LP, and…
If you remember aimlessly walking around the local mall and eating at Sbarro with your Converse, or god forbid, your Osiris skate shoes, chances are…
WASHINGTON — President Joe Biden was reportedly startled late last night after he was unexpectedly visited by his own ghost, concerned aides confirmed. “Listen up…
Let’s all take a moment to play the world’s smallest violin for first-gen Tesla owners. On the one hand they were able to afford a…
ALLENTOWN, Pa. — Local metalhead Devon Kingsley is reportedly still feeling a slight sense of euphoria after receiving $6.66 back from a purchase he made…
The streets of New York are a little less dangerous for C-suite healthcare executives now that Luigi Mangione is in a Pennsylvania jail. But our…
MOORPARK, Calif. — Local charitable punk Branden Shaffer helped raise an unprecedented number of individual cigarettes during a holiday donation drive, according to coughing sources.…
How To Support Your Local Neighborhood Businesses Even Though They Are All Full of Shit Nobody Wants
How To Support Your Local Neighborhood Businesses Even Though They Are All Full of Shit Nobody Wants
The holidays are back once again and many feel the urgent community responsibility of purchasing their loved one’s gifts from local, neighborhood stores even though…
PENNSAUKEN, N.J. — The makers of the Scrub Daddy recently introduced a new companion product, the “Scrub Sub,” which is meticulously designed to drink up…
WASHINGTON — Democratic voters were left puzzled today after the party’s latest round of fundraising emails was just Nancy Pelosi asking if they could drive…
I’ve never wanted any special treatment for being color blind, but I do appreciate the accommodations that society has provided to me that most chromatypicals…
LAS VEGAS — Professional magician and illusionist Criss Angel recently revealed he no longer suffers from mind-freak dysfunction ever since he started using the popular…