It was P.T. Barnum’s angsty cousin who once said, “There’s a poser born every minute,” and the older I get, the more I think truer…
MILWAUKEE — Legendary folk-punk group Violent Femmes announced Thursday that the band has finally bought a bass drum after 44 years of using just a…
BOSTON — Local liberal Brian Mullins, who is boycotting any company that he sees as supporting a fascist regime, spends all of his free time…
Listen, it seems like you’re a little upset now that you know I embellished certain aspects of my resume to land this interview, but I…
DAYTON, Ohio — Breeders frontwoman Kim Deal reportedly discovered today that she’d been fired from the Pixies after plugging in an old fax machine in…
LAFAYETTE, Ind. — Local dad Sean Nolan is once again using a weird, unexpected, and previously nonexistent slang term for his penis in casual conversation,…
When you’re struggling to succeed in today’s fast-paced B2B sales landscape, it’s easy to second-guess whether you’re cut out for this line of work or…
MINNEAPOLIS — Local punk Steve “Vomit” Parker reportedly began his annual metamorphosis into a Sublime guy after temperatures cracked the upper 50s this week, sources…
WASHINGTON — President Donald Trump debuted a completely new pronunciation of the holiday “Cinco De Mayo” while addressing local reporters at the White House today,…
Throughout my life, I had always felt completely secure in my masculinity. Then, the unthinkable happened — an alpha male lifestyle influencer on TikTok challenged…
SAN LUIS OBISPO, Calif. — Local man Travis Anders recently listened to all 15 Genesis albums while waiting for a chance to back out of…
SACRAMENTO, Calif. — Local 13-year-old Elliot Johnson was reportedly crossing his fingers today hoping that his dad would never come back after heading out for…
Is there a bigger time suck in this world than trying to come up with a new band name? Every time a new band starts,…
NEW YORK — Local man Peter Spearman was shocked when he discovered the frontman of his all-time favorite band Chaos Dissidents was doing low level…
It’s been another long week filled with nauseating political developments and beloved albums being removed from streaming services for several panic-inducing hours. Our loss is…